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You're Out of There


Inspired by a play from Melissa of Allenstown, NH

CAST:
Umpire
Baseball Player
Camerawoman
Floor Director
Director
PROPS/COSTUMES:
Baseball base;fake camera;movie slate;director's chair;Costumes: Baseball caps, baseball shirt, umpire outfit (chest protector, mask).

SETTING: On a movie set where they're filming a scene from a baseball game.

(Baseball Player just slid into home base and Umpire tells him that he is out. Director (in chair), Floor Director and Camerawoman (fumbling with camera) are off to the side.)

Umpire:
And you're out!

Baseball Player:
Am not!

Umpire:
Are too.

Baseball Player:
Am not!

Umpire:
You're out of there!

(Director quickly walks onto stage toward actors.)

Director:
Cut, cut, cut!

(Camerwoman runs after Director.)

Camerawoman:
Sir, how do you...?

Director:
Not now, I'm working! This scene needs to go faster. Let's speed things up a bit!

Floor Director:
Places. Quiet on the set!

Director:
And action!

(Floor Director claps movie slate then actors replay the same speed in a much faster tempo.)

Umpire:
And you're out!

Baseball Player:
Am not!

Umpire:
Are too.

Baseball Player:
Am not!

Umpire:
You're out of there!

(Director quickly walks onto stage towards actors.)

Director:
Cut, cut, cut!

(Camerwoman runs after Director.)

Camerawoman:
Sir, how do you...?

Director:
Not now, I'm busy! I said faster but not that fast! Now, let's try that again but slower!

Floor Director:
Places. Quiet on the set!

(Director returns to chair. Camerawoman follows and begins to fumble with camera again.)

Director:
And action!

(Floor Director claps movie slate then actors replay the same speed in a much slower tempo.)

Umpire:
And you're out!

Baseball Player:
Am not!

(Director quickly walks onto stage towards actors. Camerawoman follows.)

Director:
Cut, cut, cut! No, no, no. You need more feeling!

Camerawoman:
Sir, how do you...?

Director:
Just take a message. You need more emotion, more commitment. Now let's do it right this time.

(Director returns to chair. Camerawoman follows and begins to fumble with camera again.)

Floor Director:
Places. Quiet on the set!

Director:
And action!

(Floor Director claps movie slate then actors replay the scene with over the top emotion and the Director is finally pleased.)

Umpire:
And you're out!

Baseball Player:
Am not!

Umpire:
Are too.

Baseball Player:
Am not!

Umpire:
You're out of there!

Director:
Cut! Perfection! Print that! (turning to Camerawoman) Now, what did you want to ask me?

Camerawoman:
How do you load the camera?

(All chase Camerawoman off stage.)


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