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The Hot Chocolate Shop


Inspired by Sarah of Lubbock, TX

CAST:
Clerk
Man
PROPS/COSTUMES:
table for store counter; sign that says "Hank's House o' Hot Chocolate"; jars of cocoa beans and cocoa powder; pad for taking orders; watch for Man. Costumes: Hot Chocolate Shop Clerk uniform; well-dressed customer outfit.

SETTING: The front counter at Hank's House o' Hot Chocolate.

(A well-dressed Man walks into a hot chocolate shop and up to the counter.)

Man:
Good morning.

(Clerk, standing behind the counter.)

Clerk:
Good morning, sir, and welcome to Hank's House o' Hot Chocolate. Can I interest you in our strawberry bagel special?

Man:
Uh, no, thank you. I'll just have a cup of hot cocoa.

Clerk:
No problem. What type?

Man:
Excuse me?

Clerk:
What type of hot chocolate would you like?

Man:
(A little befuddled.)

Just hot chocolate.

Clerk:
Well, we have Peruvian, Mongolian, Chilean, Icelandic, Indian...

Man:
(Interrupts.)

Just give me some standard hot chocolate.

Clerk:
You can't have

(Making quotation signs with his hands.)

"Standard Hot Chocolate," you have to have a type.

Man:
Well, what do you recommend?

Clerk:
I prefer the Mongolian myself. It has a nice spicy flavor to it. There is also the Costa Rican, which is more bitter, and the Colombian, which is strong.

Man:
Um, I'll have the Colombian. I like my cocoa strong.

Clerk:
The Icelandic is the strongest.

Man:
They grow cocoa beans in Iceland?

Clerk:
Oh, yes, sir! It's very strong.

Man:
All right, I'll have that then.

Clerk:
Very good. Now, what kind of marshmallows?

Man:
What?

Clerk:
We've got fluffy, puffy, mini, squishy, mooshy, with mint, without mint-

Man:
(Flabbergasted.)

Fluffy.

Clerk:
Cup?

Man:
Huh?

Clerk:
Paper, plastic, styrofoam, handle, no handle...?

Man:
(Confused.)

Paper.

Clerk:
Now, what kind of straw do you want?

Man:
Straw? But I don't drink hot chocolate with a straw!

Clerk:
Don't drink hot chocolate with a straw? What kind of person doesn't drink hot chocolate with a straw?

Man:
(A little offended.)

This one!

Clerk:
But then you get those hideous chocolate mustaches.

Man:
Oh, all right. I'll have a straw.

Clerk:
Long, short, wide, normal, narrow...

Man:
(Starting to get overwhelmed and more than a little confused.)

Normal.

Clerk:
With the little crickey-neck, or without?

Man:
(Now completely overwhelmed.)

Without!

Clerk:
Curly-cue or straight?

Man:
Straight!

Clerk:
OK.

(Clerk finishes writing order.)

Man:
(Man gives sigh of relief, thinking he's going to get the cocoa.)

Phew!

Clerk:
And what kind of cup warmer would you like with that?

Man:
(Man is tongue-tied, angry, and confused.)

You know what, forget it! I'll just have a plain old glass of milk.

Clerk:
(Clerk flips to a new order form.)

OK. Will that be whole milk, soy milk, skim milk, 1%, 2%, goat's milk ...

(Man puts his head down on counter in disbelief.)

Sir, are you OK? Can I get you a glass of water?

(Man gets up and runs out of store, screaming.)


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