SETTING: Set of game show called "Make it Juuuust Right!" in front of the Three Bears' house
Hey everybody! Welcome to another episode of "Make It Juuuust Right!" As always, I'm your host, Goldi. I don't go by Goldilocks anymore, but you already know that. Now, lots of you have written in wanting to know how I got started in the makeover show business. So, my producers and I decided it was time to go visit my old friends, the Three Bears. THAT'S where we are today-at the Three Bears' House! Come on, let's see what they've done to the place, and let's see if I can make it juuuuuust right!
(Goldilocks goes in through the front door of the Three Bears' house.)
Ha! They're locking their door now.
(Goldilocks looks under the mat, picks up the key, unlocks the door and enters the kitchen.)
I hope I can have a reunion with the bears. How fun would that be?! Now let's see...
(Goldilocks starts to rearrange things. She sees three bowls of porridge on the counter.)
Well, this isn't right! They're still eating regular porridge! This is no good! They need some Eat-Right Porridge!
(Goldilocks dumps out the normal porridge and replaces it by pulling out a cylindrical container out of her canvas bag. She pours green guck sloppily into the bowls.)
Aaah! That's better! Lower carbs! Fortified with protein and vitamins from bean mold! They'll love this. Stick around. We'll be right back with more Make It Juuust Right!
(Bear Family is walking back home.)
Are we almost done with this walk, Mama, because I'm hungry!
(Papa rubs his stomach.)
I'm so hungry, I could eat a gallon of berries, and a buffalo, and a turkey, and...
Mama Bear :
We're almost done.
Well, bad things happen when we go out on walks.
Yeah! Remember when that weird blond girl messed up our place?
Well that won't happen again. I locked the door.
SETTING: Dining Room of the Three Bears' house
OK, we're back. And it looks like they haven't changed the living room much. This needs a few touches. Let's see...
(Goldi goes over to Papa Bear's chair.)
This settee needs some beaded throw pillows. It could also use some potpourri spray disinfectant. Phew!
(Goldi throws pillows and sprays the chair. Goldi then goes over to Mama Bear's chair.)
This needs firmer cushions and less frills.
(Goldi removes a cushion and tears the lacey fabric off Mama's chair. Goldi then goes over to Baby Bear's chair.)
I don't need to do anything with this chair. It's juuuust right!
(Goldi sits in it.)
And we'll be back with more "Make It Juuuust Right" after this short break!
SETTING: Outside the Three Bears' House
(The Bears walk up to front door.)
Hey dad? Why are there tv cameras in front of our house?
And why is the door open? I locked it on the way out!
And the kitchen smells like... Human!
(They all look at each other and shake their heads.)
The Three Bears:
Somebody call the cops!
SETTING: The Bedroom
Welcome back! Let's see if the Bear family upgraded their mattresses.
(Goldi hops on Papa Bear's bed.)
Oww! What's under here, sheetrock?
(Goldi hops on Mama Bear's bed.)
Whoa, no good! No support! This will definitely lead to lower back pain!
(Goldi hops on Baby Bear's bed.)
Ohh! THIS is nice! Luxury, comfort, durability, and support! Juuust right! Wow, I feel real tired now.
Well, that just about does it for today's episode of "Make It Juuuust Right." (Yawn.) I'm just gonna... curl up here for a while... It's been a long...
(Suddenly the Three Bears come bursting into the bedroom.)
The Three Bears:
Ah HA! Goldilocks!
(Goldi wakes up.)
Hi guys! I've missed you!
(Goldi gets up and tries to give them all a hug. They deny the gesture of goodwill.)
No, no! You're not gonna to get away with this again!
You broke into our HOUSE!
(Papa Bear moves closer to Goldilocks.)
SETTING: Inside Papa Bear's stomach Pitch BLACK with one light bulb hanging from the ceiling
(Goldilocks clicks a hanging light bulb on. We hear dripping noises.)
Well, this place could use a little work... Let's see... It's kind of dark, so we'll need more candles. And it's a little smelly, but it's nothing that some fresh flowers wouldn't fix.
(We hear a huge burp. Goldilocks shakes around from the burp, as if in an earthquake.)
SETTING: The Bedroom
(Papa Bear, politely covers his mouth and finishes his belch.)
Excuse me! Aah, juuuust right!