Why does everything have to change? The years change. Our bodies change. Our relationships change. Even the weather changes. In fact everything that has to do with life changes.

But what about our need for stability? Aren't there things we can trust not to change?

Cared For and Caring

Our deep sense of knowing that we are cared for is probably the most important thing we human beings have in coping with the perpetual changes in our bodies, in our lives, in the world around us. We give that sense of being cared for to our children in the consistency of our care. As they experience the sometimes unsettling transitions of day to night, summer to winter, they come to trust that even in the darkness and cold, there will be care until light and warmth return.

Creating Traditions

Children feel far more comfortable and secure when things happen predictably, with routines, rituals, and traditions. Those traditions, big or small, create anchors of stability, especially in rough seas. The noted psychologist Erik Erikson has said "Tradition is to human beings what instinct is to animals." Traditions help us to survive.

At home, at child care or school, anywhere that caring adults are with children, the possibilities for creating traditions are endless. What matters is the reassurance that a child can count on some things staying the same. Keeping things consistent, helping children know what to expect, and offering extra comfort when a child is in need, can help give children the stability to handle whatever changes come their way.

Thoughts About Changes and Routines:

• Some families have mealtime traditions of certain foods on certain days, "leftover" night, a simple prayer before meals, "anything goes" meal, or breakfast foods for supper.

• Bedtime is an important time for routines -- when children can count on some things to be the same, night after night.. Children are more likely to manage better at bedtime when they know when and what to expect.

• When your family is going through stressful times, try to keep changes to a minimum.

• The kitchen is a natural place for observing changes: eggs look different when they're scrambled, bread gets crusty in the toaster, ice melts.

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