There's probably no way we can keep our children from feeling sad or angry when they lose a game or are not chosen for a team, any more than we can keep ourselves from feeling that way. What we can help them understand, though, is that though we appreciate them for what they do, we love them even more for who they are. We can let them know, too, that if they win or lose, we will always be proud of them for doing the best they can. In the disappointment of a defeat, a child may seem to find little comfort in our saying, "But you really tried hard, and I'm proud of you." They need to hear that message, but it takes time to get over a disappointment.

Losing Does Not Mean Losing Love

Early competitive play gives children chance after chance to see how they feel about winning and losing. And it gives fortunate children chance after chance to find out that by losing a game they aren't risking losing love. Children who find that out when they are young, are the ones who are most likely to grow into adults who can find satisfaction and pleasure in doing the best they can in any competition -- win or lose.

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