Mealtimes mean different things to different families. But one thing is sure -- food is important to everybody. As a parent, you want to give your children healthy foods. That's one way you let them know you care about them. Most parents spend a lot of time thinking about what foods to buy and what meals to make. It's only natural for you to want your children to like the food you make for them.

Some parents say that mealtimes are hard times. Many children are picky eaters. Others can't sit still for long. When children or grownups are upset or hungry, it's harder to be kind. Your feelings can get hurt when the food you give is not wanted.

Even though mealtimes can be hard, they are important times for families -- especially when everyone is together. Mealtimes help children learn a lot about life and love, giving and receiving.

Mealtime Starts Before the Meal is On the Table.

When children do things to help get the meal ready, they often care more about it.

• Take your child food shopping with you sometimes.
• Let your child choose vegetables or fruits for the meal.
• Give your child a simple job, like setting the table with napkins and spoons or putting rolls or bread on a plate.

Let children know five minutes before dinner is ready. Children need time to end what they are doing. It is hard to stop playing.

Make Rules that are Simple and Clear.

If children know what you expect, it's easier for them to manage. Some families have rules like:

• Wash hands before you eat.
• No eating until everyone is at the table.
• If you don't like a food, you still have to be kind.
• Ask before you get up from the table.

Rules like these help children know that mealtime has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

Children Learn a lot When They Listen and Talk at Mealtime.

When children know you care about what they say at mealtime, that becomes an important time to be with you.

At mealtime, children learn how to take turns listening and talking.

Children can learn new words and new ideas from others in the family.

Families often find it helps to turn the TV off and not answer the phone at mealtime. That makes the meal calmer and quieter. Then it's easier to talk and listen.

Family Food Traditions can Make Meals Fun and Interesting.

Some families have fun meals, like:

• leftover night
• make your own sandwich or taco
• breakfast foods for supper
• an "anything goes" meal

Some families have a tradition of the same foods on certain days of the week. With so many changes in everyday life, it can help when some things stay the same.

Your child might like to hear about your family meals when you were growing up. Talk about your favorite foods or fun meals.

Some families have a tradition of saying grace, a prayer, or holding hands before a meal.

Try Not to Fight about Food at Mealtime.

Battles over food make mealtime upsetting for everyone -- parents and children.

Give your child small servings of food. Children have small stomachs. They may eat better if they don't see a lot of food on their plate. They like to feel proud when they can finish everything on their plate.

If children are not hungry, or if they are too hungry, mealtime can be harder. Figure out what helps your child -- small snacks, tastes of what you are cooking, helping with the meal.

You don't have to make a different meal for each person, but some children may want more of one food.

Some children like to try new foods. Others do not. Forcing only upsets them. You may want to make rules about tasting foods you serve. In some families, children can try a small bite. They don't have to like it. At least they tried.

Lots of children eat the same foods over and over. That can be upsetting for a parent. But when offered healthy choices, doctors say that children usually eat well enough. If you are worried, talk with your doctor.

For more information about food and mealtime by Fred Rogers, visit our Family Communications web site.

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