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WorkArticle for Parents
Wishing and Doing

Here's a story that Fred Rogers often told about Wishing and Doing:

One evening as I sat at the piano, I began to play a song, almost without thinking: "When You Wish Upon a Star." I remember when I first heard that song in Disney's "Pinocchio." I was a child, and thinking that wishing would make things come true was such a splendid idea to me. I had lots of wishes.

Well, as an adult thinking about the words of that song, it dawned on me how important that it was that all my wishes and dreams had not come true. Nevertheless, it was equally important that some of them actually had. And I wondered about the difference: Why didn't I become a concert pianist? or veterinarian? or an airline pilot? Those were all things I had wished for years ago.

What makes the difference between wishing and realizing our wishes? Lots of things, of course, but the main one, I think, is whether we link our wishes to our active work. It may take months or years, but it's far more likely to happen when we care so much that we'll work as hard as we can to make it happen. And when we're working toward the realization of our wishes, some of our greatest strengths come from the encouragement of people who care about us. That support sometimes comes in ways that we don't expect.

When I was a freshman in college, I met with a very famous songwriter. I was convinced that if I could just play my songs (I had composed five at the time), he would introduce me to producers and I would be an instantly successful composer of show tunes. That's not what happened.

The famous songwriter was very welcoming. He listened intently as I played a couple of my original songs for him. Then he said, "Very nice, Fred. Now how many songs have you written?"

"Five," I answered.

Then he said something very important to me -- important for my whole life. "I'd like you to come back after you've written a barrelful, and we'll talk again." That was not what I had expected to hear, and you can imagine how discouraged I felt. But over the years, I have come to understand how wise his advice was. And I've even passed along some of his wisdom to our "television neighbors" through one of the songs (You've Got To Do It) of the barrelful that I have written over the years.

You can make-believe it happens,
Or pretend that something's true
You can wish or hope or contemplate
A thing you'd like to do.
But until you start to do it
You will never see it through
'Cause the make-believe pretending
Just won't do it for you.
You've got to do it...

Helpful hints to involve your child in work around the house:

  • Give your child simple but real chores to do, like putting the napkins at each place setting or sponging off the table after meals.
  • Let your child stand at the sink and wash off some plastic toys. It's "water-play" -- it's soothing, it's fun, and it cleans their toys.
  • Talk with your child about some of the good feelings you have about the work that you do, whether it's in an office setting or at home.
  • When you have a problem with something you're working on at home or at work, don't just complain. Talk about some ways you're trying to solve it. That helps your child know it's good to keep working on something and not give up.

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