|When Friends Fight: From The Mentors
Obviously, all friends fight, because there is no perfect friendship, but if there is I haven't run across it yet. When I fight with my friends it's usually just about small things: where to eat, what movie to see, arguing over different opinions, things like that. We usually just solve the problem by compromising, or flipping a coin. But when you think about it, it's good to fight, because it shows everything is normal, and also it brings friends closer together. When it's all resolved, you have a stronger bond, and it just feels good to not be fighting anymore. Not all fights end perfectly, though. I have had my share of fights in the past that have ended up with either not talking to the person for a while, or losing their friendship. And you learn from your fights, so you know not do what you did again. It's like a way to learn your lesson.
Often my friends are I argue over very petty things! We argue about boys, or if one of us is ignoring the other. Sometimes it has to do with trying to be popular, or if we start to go in other directions. We resolve these conflicts by talking them out, writing each other letters, and figuring out what we can do to avoid this kind of a fight again. I've had MANY falling outs with my friends, and I've been able to work through almost all of them!
I personally fight with my friends about just anything. We have arguments over politics, sports, cars, games that we play, and much more. I have on occasion had fights with my friends over girls, and those are usually the worst. Usually what I do to try and resolve a problem is give my friend and myself some time to cool down. Then I'll approach him or her and try get their point of view on the problem, and use that to bring about some sort of resolution. It is usually a long process and takes some time.
My friends and I have fought over little things, like one of us forgetting to share a secret we shared with another friend, or big things, like personality differences. We don't seem to full-out fight as much as we sulk and try to ignore the other person. If our fights drag on, we usually try to just talk about what's wrong and what's bothering the other person. Almost all of our fights end just when we sit down to have a good talk. We've had really big fights though: just last year my best friend and I stopped talking to each other, unless it was to yell, and this went on for three months. Eventually, it got too hard NOT to talk to each other. I finally cornered her and we had what was the start of many conversations trying to patch things up. We became decent friends again, but it's taken a full year for us to get back to full friend status. Patience really is a virtue.
I once had a huge falling out with my best friend. I had just started at my new school, where basically everyone was new. I had one friend to start off with and we became best friends. Eventually, I didn't like the way he was acting and I started to make new friends who I liked being with more. My best friend began spending all his time trying to get girls' attention and less time being with me. We got into a huge argument over it and didn't talk for a long time, but eventually we became friends again, though not as close. I kinda realized that no fight is worth losing the friendship, and of course I still get in fights with friends, but they are all mostly trivial. It's better to work the problems out then to stop being friends altogether.
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