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When Friends Fight: The Bickering Buddies

The Fight
Bill and Adam have been best buds for as long as anyone can remember, but lately
it seems that they argue about almost everything. They fight about which TV shows to watch, what kind of pizza tastes best, and whether Star Wars: Episode II is cooler than Lord of the Rings. They
even stopped talking to each other for two days after arguing about who would win
in a wrestling match: The Incredible Hulk
or the Terminator.

What's Going On?

Topics on
When Friends Fight:
Make Peace, Not War
Think About It
Talk About It
The Importance of "I'm
Group Fights
Make Up and Move On
Ending Friendships
From the Mentors
Fantastic Fables of Fighting Friends
The Boy Who Needed
The Girl With Two Faces
Attack of the Rival Friend
The Bickering Buddies
Bill and Adam are such good friends that they are actually more like brothers than buddies. They know each other as well as two friends can, and because they're sure that their friendship can survive any argument, they get into silly fights that turn into red-hot arguments.

They also spend so much time together that they've started to take each other for granted. Just like brothers sometimes do, they fight about everything because they don't feel the need to act nice and respectful around somebody that they know so well.

Ways to End this Fight
Bill and Adam Could:

  • Apologize for getting upset about things that aren't very important.
  • Promise not to take their friendship for granted.
  • Promise to respect each other's opinions in the future.
  • Try to back off and let the other guy win an argument or have his way once in awhile.

Keys to Avoiding This Fight

  • Respect. Respect is a key ingredient in any friendship. How can you like someone if you don't respect him? By bickering and arguing over simple differences of opinion, Bill and Adam aren't showing very much respect for each other, and if their friendship is going to last, they have to stop acting like this. One part of respecting someone is realizing that his opinions and viewpoints are just as important as your own.

  • Tolerance. Bill and Adam need to tolerate the little things that make them individuals and, instead of fighting about them, understand that these things can strengthen friendships. After all, if two people were exactly the same and agreed on everything, their friendship would be totally boring!

  • Flexibility. Bill and Adam are clearly both stubborn guys, and they have trouble admitting that they might be wrong. If they were more flexible and willing to see things from the other guy's point-of-view, they wouldn't bicker so much. Friends should let each other have their way once in awhile. Stubbornness and inflexibility lead to too much conflict, and conflict hurts friendships.


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-- From Jay, 11

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