|Sibling Rivalry: Comparison
In your family, do you ever hear questions like these?
Sometimes, saying stuff like this is an adult's way of encouraging you to try a little harder. Other times, an adult may not even realize he or she is comparing you to your sibling. When you hear these comparisons over and over, it can really sting. You may even start doing the very thing you're being criticized for, like making bad grades or being messy, because it gets you noticed!
The bottom line is this: comparing two different kids can be like comparing apples and oranges. We may be in the same family, but that doesn't mean we like the same foods, read the same books, or have the same talents. So, it makes sense that our siblings are going to be better at some things than we are.
Although your parents should have the right to motivate you and expect you to try your best, you should help them understand that constantly holding you up to your brother or sister is totally hurtful.
Here are some examples of how to handle unfair comparison to a sib:
Parent: "Why can't you clean your room like your brother William does?"
Parent: "Why can't you make good grades like Sylvia?"
Parent: "Why can't you get the ball down the field like Lisa?"
It takes courage to talk about your feelings this way, but it's your right to express yourself, and your parents want to know how you feel. The more you speak up, the easier it will get!