|Dealing With Death: Beyond The Sadness
Some parts of the grieving process come and go early on. Others, on the other hand, come and stay-for months, years, and even, if we don't deal with them, the rest of our lives.
Anger and resentment
Almost everyone goes through periods of anger after someone they love dies. Sometimes we feel mad at a specific someone, like a doctor, or even the person we lost. Other times, we find ourselves angry in general. Even though death is a natural part of life, it doesn't seem fair, and that can make us furious.
If you're feeling lots of rage over someone's death, it's important to remember that this anger is caused by grief. Hopefully, with the help of others, you will come to accept that the world isn't out to get you, and that this death didn't happen to make you miserable-it just happened, period.
Guilt and self-blame
It's so easy for us to think, "If only I had done this, or not done that, this person would never have died." It can be the worst feeling in the world and keep us from ever fully working through our grief. It's important to not even go there. If you find that feelings of guilt and blaming yourself keep eating at you, it's time to get help dealing with them.
When someone close to us dies, it's normal to have fears about our own death, or who might die next. We become painfully aware of how fragile life can be, and the reality of death is clearer than ever. We might also be afraid of big changes in our family, and wonder how everyone will cope without the person who died.
Although death is natural and will happen to all of us someday, being obsessed with and worrying about it can keep us from the exact thing we're trying to hold on to: LIFE.