|Dealing With Anger: Other People's Rage
So you're totally in control of your anger-but it seems like everyone around you is blowing his stack. What do you do?
Friends and Siblings
Don't fuel their anger. Try not to say
Know when to back off. Sometimes when people are angry, they need time alone to cool down. In some cases, it might be smart to say something like: "Hey, I can see you're really mad. You need some time to chill, so I'll catch up with you later."
Don't encourage or ignore destructive behavior. If your friend starts talking about hurting someone, destroying things, or venting his anger in destructive ways, don't go along with it. Let your friend know that you don't want any part of this sort of behavior. If you feel your friend might hurt himself or others, talk to a teacher or parent immediately.
Let him or her know how you feel. When you talk to your friend or sibling about her problem with anger, it's easy to sound like you're accusing or attacking her, even though you don't mean to. A great way of expressing yourself in these situations is through
1) I feel __________________
2) When you ______________
3) Because _______________
Here's an example of an I-Message:
"I feel uncomfortable when you scream and yell in anger, because it's no fun being around all that negative behavior."
Let's say your mom's boss does something at work to make her angry, and she feels that she's not allowed to tell him that he's out of line. If she has no other way of expressing her emotions, she might come home and yell at your dad, scream at the family dog, or even say something mean to you. The stress and frustration of your mom not being able to deal with the real source of her anger -- her boss -- can be very hard on your household.
Here's how to handle it when an adult in your life has trouble controlling his or her anger:
Nobody can deal with everything that life throws at her or him without occasionally getting mad. But too much anger, or anger at the wrong times, can be a sign of a serious emotional or psychological problem. Here are some warning signs: