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Laura, Alba, and All Those Judgers
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Wouldn't it be a blast to be famous? You're loved by millions of people who don't even know you, and get special VIP treatment everywhere you go. But living in the spotlight can be rough, too. You have one bad hair day or say something weird in an interview, and the critics and haters start making cruel, unfeeling remarks. They often defend their criticism by saying things like "Hey, she's famous...she can take it." And to some extent, they're right. Most famous people develop a thick skin to deal with anything hurtful or mean that's said about them. This doesn't excuse the cruelty, but -- let's be honest -- celebs and public figures have to learn to ignore the bullies if they want all the perks of fame.

But what if a person doesn't want to be famous? What if they have a private life, and then suddenly find themselves in the spotlight, overnight? And what if the glare of that spotlight was totally brutal?

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That's just what's happening to Laura and Alba Zapatero, sisters who are 16 and 13 years old. In many ways, these girls are just like you and your friends. They have favorite movies, bands, and books, and they have their own style. But these girls also happen to be the daughters of the Prime Minister of Spain. While visiting New York City last week, Laura, Alba and their mom and dad posed for a photo with President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. Like many photos of the US President, the portrait was made public on a website, and picked up as news.

Only there was a little problem...Spanish Prime Minister José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero never wanted his daughters to live a public life, and with the help of a Spanish privacy law, made sure that no photos of his girls had ever been published. He wanted his daughters to have the same privacy as any other normal teenagers -- the chance to live their lives without the whole world watching. Once he realized that the pictures were on the Web, he tried to have them removed, but it was too late. Despite all of the Prime Minister's attempts to safeguard his daughters' privacy, the world got their first look at Laura and Alba. And some people who saw the pictures decided to be really, really mean.

People saw these two teen girls with a famous and important father, and got angry that Laura and Alba don't look like their idea of "Prime Minister's daughters." So they started tossing around labels, criticizing the girls' choice of clothing, jewelry, and haircuts. You know how it goes...you've probably seen kids in your school get picked on for the way they dress, or for being "too skinny" or "too fat." You've heard people lumping kids into certain groups or cliques, some of which have less status than others. It happens to millions of young people every day, and it hurts.

Only for the Zapatero sisters, it's happening on a huge, huge scale. They aren't being teased by a few bullies in school...they're being teased by people all over the world who think that these girls are fair game just because they have a famous dad! Maybe Sasha and Malia Obama are better off. Because they're seen regularly in press photos, they'll probably feel pressure over the next few years to appear a certain way...but at least they (hopefully) won't be publicly ridiculed.

What do you think? Should Laura and Alba have to deal with all this because of their father's job? Was their dad wrong for trying to shield them from the public in the first place? How would you feel if people all over the world saw your picture for the first time, and decided to judge you based on that one photo? Have you ever been judged on your appearance? We want to hear your thoughts. You can also check out our section on online bullying (which is basically what's happening to the sisters!).


"Impostering"
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We know that so many of you love to post on our You Said It pages because they're moderated and safe. Meaning, we look at every single submission to make sure it doesn't contain anything that's inappropriate, offensive, or just plain mean to other users. While our site may not have as many cool activities as your favorite virtual world or chat room, we hope that at least IML'ers feel they can express themselves without fear of online bullying.

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Still...some users find a way to make others on IML feel hurt and angry. You've even come up with a name for it: "impostering." You've been "impostered" when you've been using a certain name on IML, and then someone else posts using your name. Since we don't have a login system (yet), it's unfortunately very easy for a person to do this, and we're really sorry that anyone's experienced it. Here are some things we'd like you all to keep in mind:

  • Because we read so many submissions every day, it's hard for us to recognize that someone is pretending to "be" someone else on IML. Occasionally, it's obvious, and in those cases we'll delete the post.
  • Since we delete or edit any posts that contain what we consider to be inappropriate language or subject matter, don't worry about someone "impostering" you with a submission that's going to offend or hurt people.
  • You may think you've been "impostered," but it might be just an innocent mistake. If you have a common name or have been using a cute alias, it's not unusual for someone else to want to use the same one by coincidence. If it happens a lot, post a message to your same-namer and see if you can work out a compromise.
  • If you want us to remove a post where someone has used your name and you feel it's on purpose, send us an email at itsmylife@pbs.org and we'll take care of it as quickly as we can. 
Our You Said It pages are for IML'ers to share your experiences, feelings, and advice. We hope you can all help us keep them safe and fun!
Online bullying


When we started IML back in 2002 (yeah, it freaks us out a little that many of you were still BABIES then), we made a list of which topics to tackle first. At the top of our list were things like "Divorce," "When Friends Fight," "My Teacher Hates Me," and of course, "Bullies." Actually, "Bullies" was #1. No other issue seemed more important, or more timeless. Seven years later, that hasn't changed.

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What HAS changed is the way in which some people bully others, or get bullied. We know you know what we're talking about! IM's and emails and texting and chat rooms and message boards and virtual worlds and online role-playing games are all super cool tools to connect with other tweens and have fun. But of course they also provide new and sometimes devastating weapons for making someone else miserable.


Recently, IML put together a special new page of advice about Online Bullying. If you haven't seen it, check it out! 

We want to know: Have you ever been bullied online? How did you deal with it? Do you think you know the difference between having "a little fun" at someone's expense and bullying? Tell us on the Online Bullying You Said It page!