Dear IML,
Now that I have a girlfriend, I hang out with her friends and my best guy friend doesn't like that. Do I go with my old friend or with my GF’s friends? Who do I choose?
--Anthony, 11

Hi Anthony!
My best friend just got a boyfriend and it seems like they spend all their time together. When I'm around them, I feel like I'm in the way, so I understand how your friend is feeling. You don't have to pick between your old friend or girlfriend's friends, you just need to spend your time equally between them. Pick a certain day or time (like lunch) that will be "guy time" for you and your friend. Another idea would be for you all to hang out together. Remember, while boy/girl relationships can be great, it's important to maintain your friendships with guys…especially with your best friend.
--Lauren, IML Mentor

Hey Anthony,
It sounds like you have to find a balance between hanging out with your old friend, and your girlfriend and her friends. If you and your old friend were really great buds, you probably don’t want to throw that away. Think about ways you could all hang out together and include your guy friend in your activities. Maybe you can arrange a group outing to the mall or the movies, or have a party where they’re all invited. The more the merrier, right? Let each person know that he or she is not forgotten just because you spend time with the other. Hopefully, they’ll both understand. If not, trust your heart to tell you who is being the better friend to you. Good luck, Anthony!!
--Carren, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
There’s a girl I like, but I accused her of hugging another boy when she really didn't. What do I do to tell her I'm sorry?
--Tyler, 10

Dear Tyler,
I'm really proud of you for wanting to say you're sorry! Jealousy with crushes can be really tough. First, you need to figure out why you thought she was hugging another boy. Maybe the boy told you he liked her? Maybe you know that they are friends? At this point, maybe the best way to apologize is to write her a letter. Let her know that you really are sorry about being mad at her. Say what you feel! Try writing something like: "If you can forgive me, I will try not to jump to conclusions again," or "I want you to know that I'm sorry for accusing you of something you didn't do." HOWEVER, if you say something like, "But you were hanging out with him all day, and any guy would get jealous," she might not respond the way you want her to! If you really want to apologize, apologize without blaming her for the situation. Don’t accuse her; just express how you felt and that you’re sorry.
--Samantha, IML Mentor

Dear Tyler,
The best way to apologize to a girl is to be completely honest with her. Admit to your mistake, tell her that you feel bad about what happened, and promise that next time you'll try to know the whole story before you jump to conclusions. You should also try to learn from this situation for your future relationships. Why did it make you feel the way you did? Was this really something that could hurt your relationship? Whether or not things work out for you and this girl, asking yourself these questions might help you with other people in the future.
--Julissa, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
Me and this boy went out for a year. Last year I still liked him, but he seemed to not return my feelings. I wrote him a letter telling him how I felt and now he won't talk to or look at me. Was it wrong of me to write that letter? Should I apologize?
--Samantha, 12

Hey Samantha,
I know what you are going through, because I've done the exact same thing in the exact same situation! The first thing you have to remember is that if he doesn't return your feelings, it doesn't mean that you're not a great person. The second thing to remember is that there is NOTHING wrong with you writing a letter telling him how you feel. Writing that letter was an amazing thing to do! Be proud of yourself for being able to do it, because a lot of people are unable to express their feelings to someone. Do not apologize for what you did, because you did nothing wrong. If he doesn't do anything in response to your letter, then it's his loss, and a sign that you don't need him and can do better!
--Jaron, IML Mentor

Dear Samantha,
You should not apologize for telling him how you felt; it' s good to get those things out in the open. As for why he won't talk to you…maybe he likes you too and is nervous. Try to talk to him, but if he doesn’t want to talk, then you probably have to accept that he doesn't like you and move on. When you like someone and he or she doesn’t return your feelings, it can really hurt. However, the plain truth is that you can’t MAKE him like you, and you have to move on.
--Megan, IML Mentor

Dear Samantha,
It was very brave and mature of you to tell this boy how you feel. It was not at all wrong of you to write him a letter, and please don't feel like you should apologize. When it comes to this stuff, boys can have a harder time expressing themselves than girls can, and sometimes they just do not know what to say. This is not a reflection on you. If he continues to avoid talking to or looking at you, it's time to move on to another boy who will appreciate you.
--Lindsey, IML Mentor

Dear Samantha,
You completely did the "write" thing by telling him how you feel; I think this is usually the best way to handle any relationship. I'm sorry that he didn't answer back, but you have nothing to apologize about. Boys are just a little more awkward about this type of thing. Let some time pass and see what he does. If you still want to be friends, you have to let him know and make an effort. Either way, just remember that you did nothing wrong by writing the letter and you were very mature about the situation.
--Jordan, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
Every night I dream about the perfect kiss. There are so many details. Will it ever happen?
--Samanthah, 12

Dear Samanthah,
It is totally normal to think about things like that. We have all gone through it and yes, that day will come…but don't rush things! Everything happens when the time is right and I think it’s important that you don't feel pressured or hurried to do anything. Remember, there are no time limits! If you don't rush things, then when it does happen, chances are that it will be very special and you will always remember it. More importantly, though, not rushing things will help you avoid getting hurt by a bad experience. Give it time so that if things don’t turn out as perfect as you expect them to, you’ll be mature enough to deal with any difficulties you might face.
--Julissa, IML Mentor

Dear Samanthah,
It is perfectly natural to constantly dream about the perfect kiss, but it might be better to instead think about the first kiss. Let that happen with someone you truly like and chances are, it will be very special. It might be when you least expect it, and the details won't even matter because just the idea of kissing someone you like will make it perfect for you. Remember: don't feel rushed or pressured into kissing anyone because you want "the kiss" so badly. It is OK to wait for a kiss until you find someone you like…and I hope that you find that special someone!
--Kerri, IML Mentor

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