Dear IML,
This may sound weird, but I'm afraid of singing solos in front of lots of people. I'm okay when I act or speak in front of tons of people, but singing makes me really nervous and I always start singing bad when I am really nervous. I'm okay when I sing in groups. Can you help me handle my solos?
--From Lizzy, 12

Hey Lizzy!
I used to have a huge problem with that too! But once I started auditioning for plays and musicals, I had to conquer my fears because generally you don’t audition in groups and some of the time the other people auditioning will be in the same room. One thing you can try is to pretend that all the people in the room aren’t there. Try finding a focus point behind them so it looks like you’re facing the audience without looking directly out at them. Just know that every audience that you will ever perform in front of is there because they WANT you to do well. I hope that helps!
--Natalie, IML Mentor

Dear Lizzy,
Have you checked out different breathing exercises you can do to help calm yourself down before you start singing? My teacher taught us one to do before a test, where you draw in a breath for four seconds, hold it for two, let it out for four seconds, and then start again. It really helps me whenever I'm nervous! Also, see if you can get your friends to sit in the first and second rows, or as close to the stage as possible; seeing them might help you calm down, too, and I'm sure they'll be very encouraging to you. Good luck, I really hope you do well!
--Sarah, IML Mentor

Hey Lizzy!
I suggest using the "teddy bear method" of approaching it. Sing the solo in your room with your teddy bears. Then when you're going to do your solo, just pretend that you're singing in front of your teddy bears. I tried that when I had the same problem and it worked great. I hope your solo goes well.
--CinKay, IML Mentor

Back

Dear IML,
I know this sounds babyish, but I have fear of the dentist. It just seems so horrifying to me. I'm really scared, because pretty soon I'm going to get a tooth yanked out. Any advice?
--From Brittney, 13

Dear Brittney,
Trust me, I know how you feel.  When I was thirteen, I had to get all of my wisdom teeth taken out (that's four teeth!).  I used to be really scared of the dentist too, and it's definitely not a baby fear; there are lots of adults who fear the dentist.  In fact, in some ways I'm still afraid of the dentist. One thing you can do is explain to your dentist about your fears, especially in light of you having to get a tooth taken out.  If you've got a good dentist, he or she will do his or her best to make you feel more comfortable.  Also, you can do a lot more research or even volunteer at a dentist's office, which is what I did, and it helped me a lot.  There are also plenty of people around who you can talk to, like your friends or parents, who can help you feel better about your fear. They might even have the same fear themselves, so you won't feel so alone or babyish! I hope you feel better about the dentist soon.  It's not really such a bad place, and having a nice smile is so worth it.  (Trust me on that one too.  :P)
--Sarah, IML Mentor

Hey Brittney,
Being afraid of the dentist isn't babyish. Being able to admit your fear to anyone isn't babyish. We all have our weird fears that we think are babyish, like my fear of the dark. But anyways, it's okay to be afraid. Places like the dentist or the doctor can be scary at first. I suggest bringing something that makes you feel comfortable like a stuffed animal. I know it sounds little kiddish but it works! I was afraid of getting my ears pieced but I brought my Webkinz with me and it made me feel better, and I'm 14. Good luck with the dentist!
--CinKay, IML Mentor

Back

Dear IML,
I have public speaking problems. My teachers want me to read my essay in front of my class and I refuse. It's not only in front of class but also when I'm talking to a cashier I get nervous. English is my first language so I don't understand what is happening!
--From Daniella, 12

Hi Daniella,
Public speaking gets a lot of people down so don’t feel like you’re alone! A good way to conquer this fear is by getting more involved in social situations, even if it just means speaking up during a conversation with your friends or raising your hand a little more often during class. Another good way to practice is by reading out loud to yourself; you’ll become more confident in your words and learn to break out of your comfort zone. If you know that your teacher is going to have the class present essays, try reading it out loud to your parents or siblings to get the hang of speaking in front of people, that way you will have already practiced and will have fewer nerves in class. The way I conquered my fear of public speaking was by leaping out of my comfort zone and auditioning for my school play. It may be scary at first, so try doing group presentations, then pair presentations, then eventually you’ll be comfortable enough to speak, present, or even act all by yourself in front of an audience. As for the cashier thing, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I used to have a problem with ordering food at restaurants until I finally realized that no one was judging me and that I was too self-conscious. It’s easier said than done I know, but not caring what other people think about you is the first step. You just have to picture that everyone you are speaking in front of are there FOR you and NOT there to MAKE FUN of you.
--Natalie, IML Mentor

Dear Daniella,
I get really scared when I'm up in a crowd. However, when I'm well-practiced and really know what I'm talking about, it's not so bad. I understand how nervous you can get up there in front of a crowd, but you just have to tackle it head-on. Keep in mind that most of the kids in the crowd will be sympathetic to you. If someone does laugh at you, just ignore them. You're not speaking to them, you're speaking to the people who actually ARE interested in what you have to say, so the kids that laugh at you don't matter. When you're doing things like talking to a cashier, remember that most of them are just in a hurry to get on to the next person. At the end of the day they probably won't even remember you among the sea of people they've had to deal with, so you don't have to feel as bad if you mess up. Good luck with your problem! I hope I helped.
--Sarah, IML Mentor

Back