Does liking someone have to mean headache and heartache? Not necessarily! Here's advice on how to handle all the in's and out's of
Advice Questions about Crushes:
- I have a really big crush on a boy. The problem is, I don't have any classes with him. When the first school dance comes up, I want to ask him to dance with me. I'm really scared to, I don't know if he'll even know my name. Please help!
- I really like this guy who just happens to be my best friend. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared of what he will think. Also, there's a catch. He likes this girl in his karate class. He comes to me for advice because he wants to tell her. I give him the best advice I have even though it breaks my heart. What should I do?
- Hey! I've been crushing on dudes since forever. The hard part is, I'm like the nerd at school. Smart with glasses and acne, so I don't appeal to many guys. What do I do? I try to ask guys out, but they all refuse. I go to my friends, and I take their advice, but it never works. I really need your help!
- I'm almost 10; double digits and I'm so excited! The one bad thing about it is that I don't have a crush. I know that sounds kind of bad but it is true, I don't. Eight of my friends have crushes that I know about and when I hear them saying ‘Hey, don't you like him?’ or ‘Who do you like?,’ it makes me feel bad that I don't have a crush. I'm not saying I'm obsessed with love but I just kind of feel like I need to like someone and that I have a crush but I don't know who he is. I really need your help.
- I really like this guy who used to be one of my best friends. Somehow, he found out I liked him. He hasn't talked to me since. What does that mean and how do I start a conversation with him?
- Me and this girl have been friends forever (literally) and since about 2nd grade (I'm going into 7th now), I started to like her as more than a friend. We hang out at the pool and we talk a lot in school. It seems like she likes me but I'm not sure. How do I tell her how I feel?
- There's this boy at school. Everyone says he's gross and weird. A lot of people make fun of him, but my two best friends and me don't and he always hangs out with us. Everyone has been telling me that he likes me. He's never actually denied it, but he also doesn't seem to pay attention to what they say. I think I may like him, but I can't tell for sure if he likes me. Whenever my friends ask me if I like him, I tell them I like him as a friend. I'm really afraid that people will make fun of me if I say I like him too. Not to mention the humiliation if he doesn't like me!
- Some of my classmates tell me that a girl in my class likes me, and will tell me at my basketball game on Sunday. Thing is, this girl is the one I've secretly liked for almost a year now. What should I do?
- I have this crush on a girl, and I'm planning on asking her to hang out at recess (I'm in middle school). I'm not sure if I should. Do you have any tips on how to do it? I'm only in two classes with her, and I need to do it in the morning. Please help me out!
- I just got rejected by someone I really like. That is the 2nd person this week that has rejected me. I feel so ugly. What should I do?
- I am in love with a celeb! I have fantasies about him and I all day and I even get depressed thinking about that most probably a relationship with him won't work out unless I get famous all of a sudden! The thing is that I have really, really deep feelings for him and since I think about him all day in school, I don't pay attention to my teachers and my grades are beginning to fail! How can I get this celeb off my mind so I can get my life back in place?
- I'm home schooled and I go to this church on my street, and in my youth group there is this girl I've been bugging over for 4 months but I am so shy since I don't socialize as much as most kids, I have feelings for her that are so deep I get so depressed. I can't work up enough courage to talk to her. What should I do?
- I'm having a problem with crushes. The thing is, I like to get to know a lot of people, which is fine, but when I form a close friendship with a boy, it always turns into a crush. CURSE YOU, HORMONES! I start thinking about them more than I would normally, and it's so annoying. I wouldn't care so much if it didn't affect EVERY SINGLE FRIENDSHIP I've had with a guy this school year. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from crushing on everyone? I am not looking for any romantic relationships; right now, I'd rather stay away from them. Why can't I control my emotions and keep from drooling over a guy every time we get close?
- I am the quiet guy in the corner, and my friend is one of the popular guys. I have been crushing on this girl since the third grade, but my friend has already told her he likes her. They have broken up now, but I have a hunch that my friend might get back together with her. I have not yet told the girl about my feelings, but one side of me says the window of opportunity is here. What should I do?
- I have recently gotten turned down by a girl that I asked out. And this isn't just a crush. I really love her. And when I think about how she doesn't like me the same way, I get really depressed and I actually cry sometimes. It seems like the only way I can be happy is if I can have this girl. Can you help me?
- I like this girl. She is fun to be around, and she looks real fine. The only problem is that she's black, and I'm white. I know race doesn't matter, but I don't think she will go out with a white boy. We are good friends, and I'm glad that we are, but I kind of want more.
- I have a crush on this girl in school. I think she almost feels the same way about me. The only problem is that her mom doesn't like her to hang around boys. Her mom is like an overprotective parent. I really want she and I to become friends, but her mom doesn't approve. What should I do?
- I know this may sound kinda stupid, but I think I'm in love with my French teacher. I always enjoyed my French lessons, and always got down to doing great work. But ever since the residential trip to France, I've seen my teacher in a new light. Is this normal? How can I deal with it?
- I can't stop thinking about my best guy friend. I think I might be crushing on him, but I'm not sure. If I am, should I tell him? We have been friends since the 5th grade, and now we are going in to 8th. I don't want to lose this friendship. He sometimes shows off in front of me. All of my friends say he likes me and we would be perfect together. At times I sometimes believe them, but other times I don't. Should I ask him out?
- I really like this guy and he found out about it! He told my friend that he knew about it because my face turned red when I talked to him. How am I supposed to act around him? I've kinda been avoiding him.
- "I love this TV show. It is animated, but not a comedy. I love it so much that I have a crush on one of the characters. I have even daydreamed myself into half-believing he's out there somewhere. He is smart, kind, and polite. All of the boys I know are ignorant, rude horrors who curse and like rap music and steal locks off of lockers. I can't love anyone like that. Please help!"
- I really like this kid. I met him over a chat room and he is ten. Is he telling the truth or am I in danger? He had no profile.
- I think that I may have a big crush on this guy that also happens to be my best friend. If I tell him that I like him, he might not like me back or might not want to be my friend anymore, and I'm too shy anyway. What do I do?
- "There is this girl that I like, but she and this guy are boyfriend and girlfriend. How do I make her like ME so it's she and I who are boyfriend and girlfriend? She's already my friend, but just a friend."
- "I like one of the most popular boys in our grade, yet I'm not one of the 'preps.' Do u guys have any idea how I could get his attention?"
- "There are these two boys at school who both have a mega crush on me but I don't like either one. How do I break it to them that I don't like them?"
- Three's a crowd! Many of you wrote in for advice on what to do if you and your friend like the same person.
- "There is this girl. I like her. I think she feels the same way about me. How do I know if she likes me? Once I know that she likes me, how do I tell her that I like her?"
- "I have this guy who acts so weird when I'm around. I don't know whether he likes me or not. I like him but I don't know how to tell him. So what must I do?"
I have a super-big crush on a singer, and he is like one of the cutest things ever. I got to meet him, I got to shake his hand, and he was really nice. Later, I talked with my mom about the crush, and she warned me that it was an infatuation, in other words, it's a fantasy love thing. Now I feel really depressed about it, because I know that he'll never love me as much as I like him. I've talked with my mom about it several times, and she gives me advice, but it makes me feel worse. I don't want to give him up, but I want to stop feeling so upset over this! Do you have any advice?
You are talking to the queen of celebrity crushes. However, even though my friends are not allowed to tell me I am not going to magically bump into Ed Westwick from “Gossip Girl” and have him fall madly in love with me, I know that it probably, most likely, will not happen...okay so maybe never happen. However, just as it is okay for me to have a celebrity crush, it is okay for you to have a crush on a singer as long as you are realistic about the situation. That is probably what your mom is trying to do. I know from experience that when someone tells you that your crush probably will not become anything more than a crush, you kinda want to squish them, but really they are just looking out for you. Sometimes it helps if you take a step back and look at the situation from someone else's perspective. No matter what, it always hurts when the person you like does not have feelings for you and it sounds like you really like this guy. However, most crushes fade over time and the hurt along with it. I hope it all works out for you.
--Joy, IML Mentor
Me and this girl have been friends forever (literally) and since about 2nd grade (I'm going into 7th now), I started to like her as more than a friend. We hang out at the pool and we talk a lot in school. It seems like she likes me but I'm not sure. How do I tell her how I feel?
There are many ways to tell someone you like how you feel about them! However, in this case you'll want to be careful not to ruin the friendship, because she may not feel the same way about you as you do about her. I'd advise you to just come right out and tell her how you feel, but put stress on the fact that you'd rather have her friendship than have more if she doesn't feel the same way about you. That way, if she doesn't like you back, she won't feel that your liking her will get in the way of your friendship. Also, make sure you get her alone. It would be very embarrassing for the both of you if she didn't like you back, but you asked her in front of everyone. Good luck!
--Sarah, IML Mentor
There's this boy at school. Everyone says he's gross and weird. A lot of people make fun of him, but my two best friends and me don't and he always hangs out with us. Everyone has been telling me that he likes me. He's never actually denied it, but he also doesn't seem to pay attention to what they say. I think I may like him, but I can't tell for sure if he likes me. Whenever my friends ask me if I like him, I tell them I like him as a friend. I'm really afraid that people will make fun of me if I say I like him too. Not to mention the humiliation if he doesn't like me!
--Metis Rose, 13
Dear Metis Rose,
I'm going to say, go with what your heart tells you to do. If you really like this guy, go for it! You say that your friends and yourself don't make fun of him. If you three can accept him, then I'm sure your two best friends can accept that the two of you dating, for even a little while. What does it matter what anyone else says? As long as you have your two friends backing you up, you don't need anyone else's approval. If, however, you decide that the best thing for the both of you is for you to remain friends, make sure to let him down easy. Too many girls are cruel to guys when rejecting them, and they accidentally ruin friendships to make sure the guy realizes that they don't have special feelings for them. I'm sure you don't want that. Hope I helped!
--Sarah, IML Mentor
Dear Metis Rose,
It sounds like other people's opinions mean a lot to you and maybe that's preventing you from seeing what you really want. When I was in the 8th grade, I had a HUGE crush on a boy who was not very popular. In fact, people made fun of him because they thought he was “weird." Well, because I was so wrapped up in what other people would think of me if I pursued anything with this guy, I never said anything about how I truly felt about him. Now I'm a junior in high school…and this boy is now very attractive, still sweet and kind, and the object of many girls' affection. Also, I recently found out that he had a crush on me in 8th grade but was too shy to say anything. I really wish I had been brave enough to listen to my feelings instead of others back then. I still wonder “what if” and am trying hard to not let others' opinions affect me so much. Because I am not you and not in your situation, I cannot tell you what to do. However, I can tell you that if you listen to your heart and do what you feel will make you happy, you will be making the right decision. Also, talk to the boy. He could just be shy like the guy I liked in 8th grade and thinks that you don't like him. He is probably feeling just as nervous and vulnerable as you, so take comfort that you are not alone in those feelings. Hope everything works out for you!
--Joy, IML Mentor
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