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Does liking someone have to mean headache and heartache? Not necessarily! Here's advice on how to handle all the in's and out's of crush-dom.
   
Advice Topics:

Advice Questions about Crushes:

  • GOI have a really big crush on a boy. The problem is, I don't have any classes with him. When the first school dance comes up, I want to ask him to dance with me. I'm really scared to, I don't know if he'll even know my name. Please help!

  • GOI really like this guy who just happens to be my best friend. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared of what he will think. Also, there's a catch. He likes this girl in his karate class. He comes to me for advice because he wants to tell her. I give him the best advice I have even though it breaks my heart. What should I do?

  • GOHey! I've been crushing on dudes since forever. The hard part is, I'm like the nerd at school. Smart with glasses and acne, so I don't appeal to many guys. What do I do? I try to ask guys out, but they all refuse. I go to my friends, and I take their advice, but it never works. I really need your help!

  • GOI'm almost 10; double digits and I'm so excited! The one bad thing about it is that I don't have a crush. I know that sounds kind of bad but it is true, I don't. Eight of my friends have crushes that I know about and when I hear them saying ‘Hey, don't you like him?’ or ‘Who do you like?,’ it makes me feel bad that I don't have a crush. I'm not saying I'm obsessed with love but I just kind of feel like I need to like someone and that I have a crush but I don't know who he is. I really need your help.

  • GOI really like this guy who used to be one of my best friends. Somehow, he found out I liked him. He hasn't talked to me since. What does that mean and how do I start a conversation with him?

  • GOMe and this girl have been friends forever (literally) and since about 2nd grade (I'm going into 7th now), I started to like her as more than a friend. We hang out at the pool and we talk a lot in school. It seems like she likes me but I'm not sure. How do I tell her how I feel?

  • GOThere's this boy at school. Everyone says he's gross and weird. A lot of people make fun of him, but my two best friends and me don't and he always hangs out with us. Everyone has been telling me that he likes me. He's never actually denied it, but he also doesn't seem to pay attention to what they say. I think I may like him, but I can't tell for sure if he likes me. Whenever my friends ask me if I like him, I tell them I like him as a friend. I'm really afraid that people will make fun of me if I say I like him too. Not to mention the humiliation if he doesn't like me!

  • GOSome of my classmates tell me that a girl in my class likes me, and will tell me at my basketball game on Sunday. Thing is, this girl is the one I've secretly liked for almost a year now. What should I do?

  • GOI have this crush on a girl, and I'm planning on asking her to hang out at recess (I'm in middle school). I'm not sure if I should. Do you have any tips on how to do it? I'm only in two classes with her, and I need to do it in the morning. Please help me out!

  • GOI just got rejected by someone I really like. That is the 2nd person this week that has rejected me. I feel so ugly. What should I do?

  • GOI am in love with a celeb! I have fantasies about him and I all day and I even get depressed thinking about that most probably a relationship with him won't work out unless I get famous all of a sudden! The thing is that I have really, really deep feelings for him and since I think about him all day in school, I don't pay attention to my teachers and my grades are beginning to fail! How can I get this celeb off my mind so I can get my life back in place?

  • GOI'm home schooled and I go to this church on my street, and in my youth group there is this girl I've been bugging over for 4 months but I am so shy since I don't socialize as much as most kids, I have feelings for her that are so deep I get so depressed. I can't work up enough courage to talk to her. What should I do?

  • GOI'm having a problem with crushes. The thing is, I like to get to know a lot of people, which is fine, but when I form a close friendship with a boy, it always turns into a crush. CURSE YOU, HORMONES! I start thinking about them more than I would normally, and it's so annoying. I wouldn't care so much if it didn't affect EVERY SINGLE FRIENDSHIP I've had with a guy this school year. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from crushing on everyone? I am not looking for any romantic relationships; right now, I'd rather stay away from them. Why can't I control my emotions and keep from drooling over a guy every time we get close?

  • GOI am the quiet guy in the corner, and my friend is one of the popular guys. I have been crushing on this girl since the third grade, but my friend has already told her he likes her. They have broken up now, but I have a hunch that my friend might get back together with her. I have not yet told the girl about my feelings, but one side of me says the window of opportunity is here. What should I do?

  • GOI have recently gotten turned down by a girl that I asked out. And this isn't just a crush. I really love her. And when I think about how she doesn't like me the same way, I get really depressed and I actually cry sometimes. It seems like the only way I can be happy is if I can have this girl. Can you help me?

  • GOI like this girl. She is fun to be around, and she looks real fine. The only problem is that she's black, and I'm white. I know race doesn't matter, but I don't think she will go out with a white boy. We are good friends, and I'm glad that we are, but I kind of want more.

  • GOI have a crush on this girl in school. I think she almost feels the same way about me. The only problem is that her mom doesn't like her to hang around boys. Her mom is like an overprotective parent. I really want she and I to become friends, but her mom doesn't approve. What should I do?

  • GOI know this may sound kinda stupid, but I think I'm in love with my French teacher. I always enjoyed my French lessons, and always got down to doing great work. But ever since the residential trip to France, I've seen my teacher in a new light. Is this normal? How can I deal with it?

  • GOI can't stop thinking about my best guy friend. I think I might be crushing on him, but I'm not sure. If I am, should I tell him? We have been friends since the 5th grade, and now we are going in to 8th. I don't want to lose this friendship. He sometimes shows off in front of me. All of my friends say he likes me and we would be perfect together. At times I sometimes believe them, but other times I don't. Should I ask him out?

  • GOI really like this guy and he found out about it! He told my friend that he knew about it because my face turned red when I talked to him. How am I supposed to act around him? I've kinda been avoiding him.

  • GO"I love this TV show. It is animated, but not a comedy. I love it so much that I have a crush on one of the characters. I have even daydreamed myself into half-believing he's out there somewhere. He is smart, kind, and polite. All of the boys I know are ignorant, rude horrors who curse and like rap music and steal locks off of lockers. I can't love anyone like that. Please help!"

  • GOI really like this kid. I met him over a chat room and he is ten. Is he telling the truth or am I in danger? He had no profile.

  • GOI think that I may have a big crush on this guy that also happens to be my best friend. If I tell him that I like him, he might not like me back or might not want to be my friend anymore, and I'm too shy anyway. What do I do?

  • GO"There is this girl that I like, but she and this guy are boyfriend and girlfriend. How do I make her like ME so it's she and I who are boyfriend and girlfriend? She's already my friend, but just a friend."

  • GO"I like one of the most popular boys in our grade, yet I'm not one of the 'preps.' Do u guys have any idea how I could get his attention?"

  • GO"There are these two boys at school who both have a mega crush on me but I don't like either one. How do I break it to them that I don't like them?"

  • GOThree's a crowd! Many of you wrote in for advice on what to do if you and your friend like the same person.

  • GO"There is this girl. I like her. I think she feels the same way about me. How do I know if she likes me? Once I know that she likes me, how do I tell her that I like her?"

  • GO"I have this guy who acts so weird when I'm around. I don't know whether he likes me or not. I like him but I don't know how to tell him. So what must I do?"


Dear IML,
Some of my classmates tell me that a girl in my class likes me, and will tell me at my basketball game on Sunday. Thing is, this girl is the one I've secretly liked for almost a year now. What should I do?
--Ben, 13

The IML Mentors respond:

Dear Ben,
Relationships are always tough and challenging, so it is completely understandable for you to be feeling a little out of control right now. If she does like you, then congratulations! From what you say, you like her too, so from my viewpoint this is a good thing. I know that revealing your hidden feelings to her after keeping them secret for so long can be scary, but imagine what you could gain. Making yourself vulnerable to another person is always hard to do, but the risk can really be worth it. About a year ago I really liked a guy who my friend told me liked me back, but I was really nervous to do anything about it. However, when he asked me if i liked him I decided to take the plunge and say yes, I did. To make a long story short, we have been together ever since and I am so happy I told him how I felt. Just ask yourself if if the girl you like is someone worth opening yourself up to and worth the risk. Good luck!
--Joy, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I have this crush on a girl, and I'm planning on asking her to hang out at recess (I'm in middle school). I'm not sure if I should. Do you have any tips on how to do it? I'm only in two classes with her, and I need to do it in the morning. Please help me out!
--Connor, 11

The IML Mentors respond:

Hey Connor,
Well as a girl, I think it's absolutely cool that you want to ask her to hang out at recess, but if you're not already friends or you're not that close, that might be a bit strange for you both. I would recommend maybe finding an excuse to talk to her, like saying, "Oh, you're so good at this and I need some help, maybe we can go over it at recess?" or maybe find a common interest like a certain activity, or maybe suggest a band you like and then on your CD player or your iPod you can have her listen to it. An ice breaker like one of those is usually a great way to start off a conversation without making it too awkward for either one of you.
--Stormie, IML Mentor

Dear Connor,
Here are my suggestions: Since you have two classes with her, walk with her to class. Start talking to her, and right before you go into class, just ask her whether she wants to hang out with you during recess. If you don't have any morning classes with her, you might IM (Instant Message) her the night before, or put a note in her locker. Good luck!
--Roxanne, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I just got rejected by someone I really like. That is the 2nd person this week that has rejected me. I feel so ugly. What should I do? --Abby, 13

The IML Mentors respond:

Abby,
I really do understand how hard it can be to be rejected by someone you like. It always stings a bit and you might be thinking that there's something wrong with you...but it's important that you don't let thoughts like that take over. Yes, it hurts to have someone you care about not feel the same about you, but think about all the boys you like as friends right now. Is there anything wrong with them? Probably not, you just don't have a romantic feeling for them because the chemistry's not there. It's nothing that they did, or didn't do, and it might not have anything to do with their looks; you just don't have those feelings for them. But what I find intersting is that you said you've been rejected by two people this week...do your feelings change that quickly? Maybe you should take some time to make sure that your feelings are genuine before you approach another person you like, because even though a new guy makes getting over a bad relationship easier, it doesn't really fix the problem at all. Try taking a time out and just focus on feeling good about yourself. Just because one boy didn't want to be your boyfriend doesn't make you ugly. It just proves that you aren't right for each other. You need to feel good about yourself no matter what, because if you rely on a guy to make you feel worthwhile, you won't really be taking care of your own self-esteem. Don't ever let a boy make you feel bad about yourself! While rejection hurts, I promise you will meet another guy, and more importantly, I hope you do find out what about you is so special so that you always know how amazing you are.
--Stormie, IML Mentor

Dear Abby,
Being turned down by someone you like can be really hard and it sounds like you are feeling really down because of this. I once really liked a guy and asked him out, but he said no. I too felt really ugly and just thought that I was not pretty enough, smart enough, and just all around not good enough. However, I realized that I was wrong and that like you, I am all of those things. Even though those two guys might not like you, someone really special will. Even more importantly, if you love yourself and are happy with the type of person that you are, then a guy will never have the power to make you feel inadequate. I hope that you are feeling better soon and good luck!
--Joy, IML Mentor

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