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Does liking someone have to mean headache and heartache? Not necessarily! Here's advice on how to handle all the in's and out's of crush-dom.
   
Advice Topics:

Advice Questions about Crushes:

  • GOI have a really big crush on a boy. The problem is, I don't have any classes with him. When the first school dance comes up, I want to ask him to dance with me. I'm really scared to, I don't know if he'll even know my name. Please help!

  • GOI really like this guy who just happens to be my best friend. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared of what he will think. Also, there's a catch. He likes this girl in his karate class. He comes to me for advice because he wants to tell her. I give him the best advice I have even though it breaks my heart. What should I do?

  • GOHey! I've been crushing on dudes since forever. The hard part is, I'm like the nerd at school. Smart with glasses and acne, so I don't appeal to many guys. What do I do? I try to ask guys out, but they all refuse. I go to my friends, and I take their advice, but it never works. I really need your help!

  • GOI'm almost 10; double digits and I'm so excited! The one bad thing about it is that I don't have a crush. I know that sounds kind of bad but it is true, I don't. Eight of my friends have crushes that I know about and when I hear them saying ‘Hey, don't you like him?’ or ‘Who do you like?,’ it makes me feel bad that I don't have a crush. I'm not saying I'm obsessed with love but I just kind of feel like I need to like someone and that I have a crush but I don't know who he is. I really need your help.

  • GOI really like this guy who used to be one of my best friends. Somehow, he found out I liked him. He hasn't talked to me since. What does that mean and how do I start a conversation with him?

  • GOMe and this girl have been friends forever (literally) and since about 2nd grade (I'm going into 7th now), I started to like her as more than a friend. We hang out at the pool and we talk a lot in school. It seems like she likes me but I'm not sure. How do I tell her how I feel?

  • GOThere's this boy at school. Everyone says he's gross and weird. A lot of people make fun of him, but my two best friends and me don't and he always hangs out with us. Everyone has been telling me that he likes me. He's never actually denied it, but he also doesn't seem to pay attention to what they say. I think I may like him, but I can't tell for sure if he likes me. Whenever my friends ask me if I like him, I tell them I like him as a friend. I'm really afraid that people will make fun of me if I say I like him too. Not to mention the humiliation if he doesn't like me!

  • GOSome of my classmates tell me that a girl in my class likes me, and will tell me at my basketball game on Sunday. Thing is, this girl is the one I've secretly liked for almost a year now. What should I do?

  • GOI have this crush on a girl, and I'm planning on asking her to hang out at recess (I'm in middle school). I'm not sure if I should. Do you have any tips on how to do it? I'm only in two classes with her, and I need to do it in the morning. Please help me out!

  • GOI just got rejected by someone I really like. That is the 2nd person this week that has rejected me. I feel so ugly. What should I do?

  • GOI am in love with a celeb! I have fantasies about him and I all day and I even get depressed thinking about that most probably a relationship with him won't work out unless I get famous all of a sudden! The thing is that I have really, really deep feelings for him and since I think about him all day in school, I don't pay attention to my teachers and my grades are beginning to fail! How can I get this celeb off my mind so I can get my life back in place?

  • GOI'm home schooled and I go to this church on my street, and in my youth group there is this girl I've been bugging over for 4 months but I am so shy since I don't socialize as much as most kids, I have feelings for her that are so deep I get so depressed. I can't work up enough courage to talk to her. What should I do?

  • GOI'm having a problem with crushes. The thing is, I like to get to know a lot of people, which is fine, but when I form a close friendship with a boy, it always turns into a crush. CURSE YOU, HORMONES! I start thinking about them more than I would normally, and it's so annoying. I wouldn't care so much if it didn't affect EVERY SINGLE FRIENDSHIP I've had with a guy this school year. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from crushing on everyone? I am not looking for any romantic relationships; right now, I'd rather stay away from them. Why can't I control my emotions and keep from drooling over a guy every time we get close?

  • GOI am the quiet guy in the corner, and my friend is one of the popular guys. I have been crushing on this girl since the third grade, but my friend has already told her he likes her. They have broken up now, but I have a hunch that my friend might get back together with her. I have not yet told the girl about my feelings, but one side of me says the window of opportunity is here. What should I do?

  • GOI have recently gotten turned down by a girl that I asked out. And this isn't just a crush. I really love her. And when I think about how she doesn't like me the same way, I get really depressed and I actually cry sometimes. It seems like the only way I can be happy is if I can have this girl. Can you help me?

  • GOI like this girl. She is fun to be around, and she looks real fine. The only problem is that she's black, and I'm white. I know race doesn't matter, but I don't think she will go out with a white boy. We are good friends, and I'm glad that we are, but I kind of want more.

  • GOI have a crush on this girl in school. I think she almost feels the same way about me. The only problem is that her mom doesn't like her to hang around boys. Her mom is like an overprotective parent. I really want she and I to become friends, but her mom doesn't approve. What should I do?

  • GOI know this may sound kinda stupid, but I think I'm in love with my French teacher. I always enjoyed my French lessons, and always got down to doing great work. But ever since the residential trip to France, I've seen my teacher in a new light. Is this normal? How can I deal with it?

  • GOI can't stop thinking about my best guy friend. I think I might be crushing on him, but I'm not sure. If I am, should I tell him? We have been friends since the 5th grade, and now we are going in to 8th. I don't want to lose this friendship. He sometimes shows off in front of me. All of my friends say he likes me and we would be perfect together. At times I sometimes believe them, but other times I don't. Should I ask him out?

  • GOI really like this guy and he found out about it! He told my friend that he knew about it because my face turned red when I talked to him. How am I supposed to act around him? I've kinda been avoiding him.

  • GO"I love this TV show. It is animated, but not a comedy. I love it so much that I have a crush on one of the characters. I have even daydreamed myself into half-believing he's out there somewhere. He is smart, kind, and polite. All of the boys I know are ignorant, rude horrors who curse and like rap music and steal locks off of lockers. I can't love anyone like that. Please help!"

  • GOI really like this kid. I met him over a chat room and he is ten. Is he telling the truth or am I in danger? He had no profile.

  • GOI think that I may have a big crush on this guy that also happens to be my best friend. If I tell him that I like him, he might not like me back or might not want to be my friend anymore, and I'm too shy anyway. What do I do?

  • GO"There is this girl that I like, but she and this guy are boyfriend and girlfriend. How do I make her like ME so it's she and I who are boyfriend and girlfriend? She's already my friend, but just a friend."

  • GO"I like one of the most popular boys in our grade, yet I'm not one of the 'preps.' Do u guys have any idea how I could get his attention?"

  • GO"There are these two boys at school who both have a mega crush on me but I don't like either one. How do I break it to them that I don't like them?"

  • GOThree's a crowd! Many of you wrote in for advice on what to do if you and your friend like the same person.

  • GO"There is this girl. I like her. I think she feels the same way about me. How do I know if she likes me? Once I know that she likes me, how do I tell her that I like her?"

  • GO"I have this guy who acts so weird when I'm around. I don't know whether he likes me or not. I like him but I don't know how to tell him. So what must I do?"


Dear IML,
I have a crush on this girl in school. I think she almost feels the same way about me. The only problem is that her mom doesn't like her to hang around boys. Her mom is like an overprotective parent. I really want she and I to become friends, but her mom doesn't approve. What should I do?
--George, 10

The IML Mentors respond:

Hi George!
It's tough to deal with parents when they are having a hard time seeing their children grow up. Initiate your friendship by sitting by her at lunch and playing with her at recess. Try making her mom more comfortable by having other kids around when you and the girl hang out. Invite some friends over after school for a movie and snacks. As her mom gets to know you better, hopefully she'll realize what a great friend you are to their daughter and will feel better about her hanging out with you. Good luck!
--Lauren, IML Mentor

Dear George,
It is always tough when you want to be friends with a girl and the parents of the girl don't allow you to hang around their child. The best way to get her parents' approval is for you to get to know them. When you spend time with her and they are around, give them a good impression of who you are. Hopefully, when they realize that you are suitable to hang around their daughter, maybe they'll allow you to hang out. The most important thing is to be polite to her parents and be kind and courteous but also make sure to act like yourself and show her parents who you truly are.
--Joel, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I know this may sound kinda stupid, but I think I'm in love with my French teacher. I always enjoyed my French lessons, and always got down to doing great work. But ever since the residential trip to France, I've seen my teacher in a new light. Is this normal? How can I deal with it?
--Robert, 12

The IML Mentors respond:

Hey Robert!
Your situation doesn't sound stupid at all! It's pretty common to have crushes on teachers. They're older, smarter, and often, students develop a deep respect that can seem like love. This especially makes sense for you since you traveled with your French teacher outside of the classroom. Your relationship probably seemed more casual and friend-like than the typical teacher-student relationship. The bottom line is that you cannot do anything about this crush: you're 12, and your teacher is undoubtedly older. Try and focus on people your own age to have crushes on. Even if you can't pursue your teacher, you can continue to enjoy your lessons and have respectful feelings. Good luck!
--Lauren, IML Mentor

Dear Robert,
It's very common for a student to fall in love and become spellbound by an attractive teacher, but the important thing to respect is the relationship between a teacher and a student, and understand that the relationship can only be friendship-based. Just know that this is very common because love is a funny thing and hits you from all different directions yet sooner or later you will realize what true love is. To deal with this you should definitely remain friends with your teacher and try not to feel awkward when youre around each other, because this is very common and the phase will pass by and you will experience many situations like this. Another way to deal with this is to try to find someone your own age for you to like, someone who makes you feel this exact same way.
--Joel, IML Mentor

Back

Dear IML,
I can't stop thinking about my best guy friend. I think I might be crushing on him, but I'm not sure. If I am, should I tell him? We have been friends since the 5th grade, and now we are going in to 8th. I don't want to lose this friendship. He sometimes shows off in front of me. All of my friends say he likes me and we would be perfect together. At times I sometimes believe them, but other times I don't. Should I ask him out?
--Steph

The IML Mentors respond:

Hi Steph!
Chances are, if you cant stop thinking about your friend, you probably have a crush on him. What a good person to have a crush on! You already know each other and there actually is potential for a relationship beyond friendship. I wouldnt recommend asking him out just because your friends say he likes you; dont believe it until he actually confirms it. The only way you can find out if he likes you too is to ask him. Tell him what your friends have been telling you, and ask if any of it is true. It might be an awkward conversation, but its better to get it over with and know the truth rather than dwell on what could be.
--Lauren, IML Mentor

Dear Stephanie
This is a normal situation! I have crushed on a lot of my guy friends and it's okay to have these feelings! The best way to find out if those feelings are mutual is to talk to him about this and ask him how he feels and tell him how you feel. There are pros and cons to this solution, though. On the upside: you two could become something more then friends, and on the downside, it might be slightly awkward. You're the one that has to decide how you want to handle it, while being aware of both sides. Good luck!
--Kerri, IML Mentor

Dear Steph,
At some point in time, we all start to look at our friends differently. After being with them for so long, they seem to become attractive because they resemble what we're looking for. Sometimes guy friends do make the best boyfriends. But if you decide to pursue your friend becoming your boyfriend, you'll inevitably take that risk where he may (a) not like you the same way you like him, or (b) you'll have a relationship where you might not want to call him a friend again because you'll always see him as your boyfriend. This is your decision. You have to decide if you really like him and would be willing to take that risk. If youre not sure about how you feel about him, you may tarnish your relationship.
--Tiffany, IML Mentor

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