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Does liking someone have to mean headache and heartache? Not necessarily! Here's advice on how to handle all the in's and out's of crush-dom.
   
Advice Topics:

Advice Questions about Crushes:

  • GOI have a really big crush on a boy. The problem is, I don't have any classes with him. When the first school dance comes up, I want to ask him to dance with me. I'm really scared to, I don't know if he'll even know my name. Please help!

  • GOI really like this guy who just happens to be my best friend. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared of what he will think. Also, there's a catch. He likes this girl in his karate class. He comes to me for advice because he wants to tell her. I give him the best advice I have even though it breaks my heart. What should I do?

  • GOHey! I've been crushing on dudes since forever. The hard part is, I'm like the nerd at school. Smart with glasses and acne, so I don't appeal to many guys. What do I do? I try to ask guys out, but they all refuse. I go to my friends, and I take their advice, but it never works. I really need your help!

  • GOI'm almost 10; double digits and I'm so excited! The one bad thing about it is that I don't have a crush. I know that sounds kind of bad but it is true, I don't. Eight of my friends have crushes that I know about and when I hear them saying ‘Hey, don't you like him?’ or ‘Who do you like?,’ it makes me feel bad that I don't have a crush. I'm not saying I'm obsessed with love but I just kind of feel like I need to like someone and that I have a crush but I don't know who he is. I really need your help.

  • GOI really like this guy who used to be one of my best friends. Somehow, he found out I liked him. He hasn't talked to me since. What does that mean and how do I start a conversation with him?

  • GOMe and this girl have been friends forever (literally) and since about 2nd grade (I'm going into 7th now), I started to like her as more than a friend. We hang out at the pool and we talk a lot in school. It seems like she likes me but I'm not sure. How do I tell her how I feel?

  • GOThere's this boy at school. Everyone says he's gross and weird. A lot of people make fun of him, but my two best friends and me don't and he always hangs out with us. Everyone has been telling me that he likes me. He's never actually denied it, but he also doesn't seem to pay attention to what they say. I think I may like him, but I can't tell for sure if he likes me. Whenever my friends ask me if I like him, I tell them I like him as a friend. I'm really afraid that people will make fun of me if I say I like him too. Not to mention the humiliation if he doesn't like me!

  • GOSome of my classmates tell me that a girl in my class likes me, and will tell me at my basketball game on Sunday. Thing is, this girl is the one I've secretly liked for almost a year now. What should I do?

  • GOI have this crush on a girl, and I'm planning on asking her to hang out at recess (I'm in middle school). I'm not sure if I should. Do you have any tips on how to do it? I'm only in two classes with her, and I need to do it in the morning. Please help me out!

  • GOI just got rejected by someone I really like. That is the 2nd person this week that has rejected me. I feel so ugly. What should I do?

  • GOI am in love with a celeb! I have fantasies about him and I all day and I even get depressed thinking about that most probably a relationship with him won't work out unless I get famous all of a sudden! The thing is that I have really, really deep feelings for him and since I think about him all day in school, I don't pay attention to my teachers and my grades are beginning to fail! How can I get this celeb off my mind so I can get my life back in place?

  • GOI'm home schooled and I go to this church on my street, and in my youth group there is this girl I've been bugging over for 4 months but I am so shy since I don't socialize as much as most kids, I have feelings for her that are so deep I get so depressed. I can't work up enough courage to talk to her. What should I do?

  • GOI'm having a problem with crushes. The thing is, I like to get to know a lot of people, which is fine, but when I form a close friendship with a boy, it always turns into a crush. CURSE YOU, HORMONES! I start thinking about them more than I would normally, and it's so annoying. I wouldn't care so much if it didn't affect EVERY SINGLE FRIENDSHIP I've had with a guy this school year. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from crushing on everyone? I am not looking for any romantic relationships; right now, I'd rather stay away from them. Why can't I control my emotions and keep from drooling over a guy every time we get close?

  • GOI am the quiet guy in the corner, and my friend is one of the popular guys. I have been crushing on this girl since the third grade, but my friend has already told her he likes her. They have broken up now, but I have a hunch that my friend might get back together with her. I have not yet told the girl about my feelings, but one side of me says the window of opportunity is here. What should I do?

  • GOI have recently gotten turned down by a girl that I asked out. And this isn't just a crush. I really love her. And when I think about how she doesn't like me the same way, I get really depressed and I actually cry sometimes. It seems like the only way I can be happy is if I can have this girl. Can you help me?

  • GOI like this girl. She is fun to be around, and she looks real fine. The only problem is that she's black, and I'm white. I know race doesn't matter, but I don't think she will go out with a white boy. We are good friends, and I'm glad that we are, but I kind of want more.

  • GOI have a crush on this girl in school. I think she almost feels the same way about me. The only problem is that her mom doesn't like her to hang around boys. Her mom is like an overprotective parent. I really want she and I to become friends, but her mom doesn't approve. What should I do?

  • GOI know this may sound kinda stupid, but I think I'm in love with my French teacher. I always enjoyed my French lessons, and always got down to doing great work. But ever since the residential trip to France, I've seen my teacher in a new light. Is this normal? How can I deal with it?

  • GOI can't stop thinking about my best guy friend. I think I might be crushing on him, but I'm not sure. If I am, should I tell him? We have been friends since the 5th grade, and now we are going in to 8th. I don't want to lose this friendship. He sometimes shows off in front of me. All of my friends say he likes me and we would be perfect together. At times I sometimes believe them, but other times I don't. Should I ask him out?

  • GOI really like this guy and he found out about it! He told my friend that he knew about it because my face turned red when I talked to him. How am I supposed to act around him? I've kinda been avoiding him.

  • GO"I love this TV show. It is animated, but not a comedy. I love it so much that I have a crush on one of the characters. I have even daydreamed myself into half-believing he's out there somewhere. He is smart, kind, and polite. All of the boys I know are ignorant, rude horrors who curse and like rap music and steal locks off of lockers. I can't love anyone like that. Please help!"

  • GOI really like this kid. I met him over a chat room and he is ten. Is he telling the truth or am I in danger? He had no profile.

  • GOI think that I may have a big crush on this guy that also happens to be my best friend. If I tell him that I like him, he might not like me back or might not want to be my friend anymore, and I'm too shy anyway. What do I do?

  • GO"There is this girl that I like, but she and this guy are boyfriend and girlfriend. How do I make her like ME so it's she and I who are boyfriend and girlfriend? She's already my friend, but just a friend."

  • GO"I like one of the most popular boys in our grade, yet I'm not one of the 'preps.' Do u guys have any idea how I could get his attention?"

  • GO"There are these two boys at school who both have a mega crush on me but I don't like either one. How do I break it to them that I don't like them?"

  • GOThree's a crowd! Many of you wrote in for advice on what to do if you and your friend like the same person.

  • GO"There is this girl. I like her. I think she feels the same way about me. How do I know if she likes me? Once I know that she likes me, how do I tell her that I like her?"

  • GO"I have this guy who acts so weird when I'm around. I don't know whether he likes me or not. I like him but I don't know how to tell him. So what must I do?"


Dear IML,
I really like this guy and he found out about it! He told my friend that he knew about it because my face turned red when I talked to him. How am I supposed to act around him? I've kinda been avoiding him.
--Allie, 11

The IML Mentors respond:

Dear Allie,
Eventually you will have to deal with this boy! Remember that everyone gets nervous and shy, so don't feel upset that your face turns red (mine does that all the time, too). Try not to focus too much on the fact that you like him, but instead talk to him as you would a friend. Don't try to get him to like you back; either he will or he won't. If it works out, great, but if it doesn't, try to keep in mind that it just wasn't meant to happen. Ask him about his interests and talk about things that you have in common. For example, sports he plays, classes you have together, or what's going on at that moment. These are good conversation starters so you won't be stuck with nothing to say. Good luck!
--Megan, IML Mentor

Hey Allie!
Yikes, Ive had this happen to me before! Its embarrassing and awkward but there are ways to deal with it. Ive always thought that it would be the end of the world if a crush found out I liked him, but Ive recently come to the conclusion that its really not that big a deal. Youre giving him a big compliment by liking him, and he should be grateful that someone like you notices his positive characteristics. If you can, try not to act any different around him now that he knows. Just be yourself and treat him like a friend. Let him see you for the awesome girl you are. Who knowsmaybe hes interested too! Youve technically made the first move by allowing him to find out that you like him, now its his turn.
--Lauren, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I love this TV show. It is animated, but not a comedy. I love it so much that I have a crush on one of the characters. I have even daydreamed myself into half-believing he's out there somewhere. He is smart, kind, and polite. All of the boys I know are ignorant, rude horrors who curse and like rap music and steal locks off of lockers. I can't love anyone like that. Please help!
--Hannah, 13

The IML Mentors respond:

Hey Hannah!
I know many, many girls who like movie stars and even cartoon characters...but what people often forget is that since they're just characters, they don't have full personalities like real people do. A show's producers and writers only show us a few aspects of a character so that people will like or dislike them (depending on whether this character is a "hero" or a "villain"). Perhaps it would help you to imagine the "rest" of your crush character's personality. What do you think he does when he's not "onscreen"? Do you think he acts perfect 100% of the time, and if he did, would he really be all that interesting as a person to know? As for the boys in your grade...it might take a while for most of them to mature, so I'd suggest not worrying about "finding someone" right now and focus on your friends and activities.
--Lauren, IML Mentor

Dear Hannah,
Whether your crush is an animated character or real movie star, it's most likely that you're feeling drawn to a certain personality trait that this "person" has. You said that the character is smart and polite, so this is probably something you really admire and want in a boyfriend. I don't think that you're daydreaming is unhealthy, but if you find yourself unable to concentrate because you are thinking more about this "person" than anything else, then maybe it's time to stop watching the cartoon for a while.
--Cyntianna, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I really like this kid. I met him over a chat room and he is ten. Is he telling the truth or am I in danger? He had no profile.
--Lilly, 10

The IML Mentors respond:

Dear Lilly,
Its great that you realize people online may not be who they say they are. First of all, I want to remind you that even people with profiles arent necessarily telling the truth. Be careful when talking to strangers, especially online. If he says anything that makes you uncomfortable or invites you to meet him somewhere in real life, cut off contact with him or better yet, tell an adult. Remember to never give away personal information online, even the name of your school or your last name, and never send anyone you chat with a picture of yourself. Its true that chat rooms are a great way to meet people, and taking these precautions will help keep them safe for you.
--Megan, IML Mentor

Hi Lilly,
I'm glad to hear that you don't believe everything others say in chat rooms. There are indeed a lot of dangers on the Internet, but that doesn't mean you're in danger just because you've been chatting with a guy who claims to be 10. Even if he did have a profile, he could still make things up. Don't trust all the information you read in peoples profiles. If he's not telling the truth, you're not in danger as long as you don't meet up with him in person and dont tell him where you live, where you usually hang out, stuff like that. Don't make yourself easy to track down. There are bad people out there who go to chat rooms trying to take advantage of kids, but at the same time, there are a lot of kids like you who just want to make friends. Talk to your parents about the people you meet online and hear their advice. Play it safe online even when you get into your teenage years, because it's just as dangerous for me as it is for you.
--Joyce, IML Mentor

Dear Lilly,
I understand where youre coming from. I have also been in this type of situation. I can tell youre a smart person because youre questioning yourself about talking to this guy. As you know, people can say whatever they imagine over the Net, so there is no way of knowing if he's telling the truth. I don't think there is a problem with talking to him if you remember to (a) not tell him too much about your personal life (because he is a stranger, no matter what his age), and (b) only talk to him as an online buddy (nothing more, because you did meet him in a chat room).
--Tiffany, IML Mentor

You can get lots more information and advice about Internet safety at the FBI Kids Page (www.fbi.gov/fbikids.htm) and Netsmartz. (www.netsmartz.org).

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