Does liking someone have to mean headache and heartache? Not necessarily! Here's advice on how to handle all the in's and out's of
Advice Questions about Crushes:
- I have a really big crush on a boy. The problem is, I don't have any classes with him. When the first school dance comes up, I want to ask him to dance with me. I'm really scared to, I don't know if he'll even know my name. Please help!
- I really like this guy who just happens to be my best friend. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared of what he will think. Also, there's a catch. He likes this girl in his karate class. He comes to me for advice because he wants to tell her. I give him the best advice I have even though it breaks my heart. What should I do?
- Hey! I've been crushing on dudes since forever. The hard part is, I'm like the nerd at school. Smart with glasses and acne, so I don't appeal to many guys. What do I do? I try to ask guys out, but they all refuse. I go to my friends, and I take their advice, but it never works. I really need your help!
- I'm almost 10; double digits and I'm so excited! The one bad thing about it is that I don't have a crush. I know that sounds kind of bad but it is true, I don't. Eight of my friends have crushes that I know about and when I hear them saying ‘Hey, don't you like him?’ or ‘Who do you like?,’ it makes me feel bad that I don't have a crush. I'm not saying I'm obsessed with love but I just kind of feel like I need to like someone and that I have a crush but I don't know who he is. I really need your help.
- I really like this guy who used to be one of my best friends. Somehow, he found out I liked him. He hasn't talked to me since. What does that mean and how do I start a conversation with him?
- Me and this girl have been friends forever (literally) and since about 2nd grade (I'm going into 7th now), I started to like her as more than a friend. We hang out at the pool and we talk a lot in school. It seems like she likes me but I'm not sure. How do I tell her how I feel?
- There's this boy at school. Everyone says he's gross and weird. A lot of people make fun of him, but my two best friends and me don't and he always hangs out with us. Everyone has been telling me that he likes me. He's never actually denied it, but he also doesn't seem to pay attention to what they say. I think I may like him, but I can't tell for sure if he likes me. Whenever my friends ask me if I like him, I tell them I like him as a friend. I'm really afraid that people will make fun of me if I say I like him too. Not to mention the humiliation if he doesn't like me!
- Some of my classmates tell me that a girl in my class likes me, and will tell me at my basketball game on Sunday. Thing is, this girl is the one I've secretly liked for almost a year now. What should I do?
- I have this crush on a girl, and I'm planning on asking her to hang out at recess (I'm in middle school). I'm not sure if I should. Do you have any tips on how to do it? I'm only in two classes with her, and I need to do it in the morning. Please help me out!
- I just got rejected by someone I really like. That is the 2nd person this week that has rejected me. I feel so ugly. What should I do?
- I am in love with a celeb! I have fantasies about him and I all day and I even get depressed thinking about that most probably a relationship with him won't work out unless I get famous all of a sudden! The thing is that I have really, really deep feelings for him and since I think about him all day in school, I don't pay attention to my teachers and my grades are beginning to fail! How can I get this celeb off my mind so I can get my life back in place?
- I'm home schooled and I go to this church on my street, and in my youth group there is this girl I've been bugging over for 4 months but I am so shy since I don't socialize as much as most kids, I have feelings for her that are so deep I get so depressed. I can't work up enough courage to talk to her. What should I do?
- I'm having a problem with crushes. The thing is, I like to get to know a lot of people, which is fine, but when I form a close friendship with a boy, it always turns into a crush. CURSE YOU, HORMONES! I start thinking about them more than I would normally, and it's so annoying. I wouldn't care so much if it didn't affect EVERY SINGLE FRIENDSHIP I've had with a guy this school year. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from crushing on everyone? I am not looking for any romantic relationships; right now, I'd rather stay away from them. Why can't I control my emotions and keep from drooling over a guy every time we get close?
- I am the quiet guy in the corner, and my friend is one of the popular guys. I have been crushing on this girl since the third grade, but my friend has already told her he likes her. They have broken up now, but I have a hunch that my friend might get back together with her. I have not yet told the girl about my feelings, but one side of me says the window of opportunity is here. What should I do?
- I have recently gotten turned down by a girl that I asked out. And this isn't just a crush. I really love her. And when I think about how she doesn't like me the same way, I get really depressed and I actually cry sometimes. It seems like the only way I can be happy is if I can have this girl. Can you help me?
- I like this girl. She is fun to be around, and she looks real fine. The only problem is that she's black, and I'm white. I know race doesn't matter, but I don't think she will go out with a white boy. We are good friends, and I'm glad that we are, but I kind of want more.
- I have a crush on this girl in school. I think she almost feels the same way about me. The only problem is that her mom doesn't like her to hang around boys. Her mom is like an overprotective parent. I really want she and I to become friends, but her mom doesn't approve. What should I do?
- I know this may sound kinda stupid, but I think I'm in love with my French teacher. I always enjoyed my French lessons, and always got down to doing great work. But ever since the residential trip to France, I've seen my teacher in a new light. Is this normal? How can I deal with it?
- I can't stop thinking about my best guy friend. I think I might be crushing on him, but I'm not sure. If I am, should I tell him? We have been friends since the 5th grade, and now we are going in to 8th. I don't want to lose this friendship. He sometimes shows off in front of me. All of my friends say he likes me and we would be perfect together. At times I sometimes believe them, but other times I don't. Should I ask him out?
- I really like this guy and he found out about it! He told my friend that he knew about it because my face turned red when I talked to him. How am I supposed to act around him? I've kinda been avoiding him.
- "I love this TV show. It is animated, but not a comedy. I love it so much that I have a crush on one of the characters. I have even daydreamed myself into half-believing he's out there somewhere. He is smart, kind, and polite. All of the boys I know are ignorant, rude horrors who curse and like rap music and steal locks off of lockers. I can't love anyone like that. Please help!"
- I really like this kid. I met him over a chat room and he is ten. Is he telling the truth or am I in danger? He had no profile.
- I think that I may have a big crush on this guy that also happens to be my best friend. If I tell him that I like him, he might not like me back or might not want to be my friend anymore, and I'm too shy anyway. What do I do?
- "There is this girl that I like, but she and this guy are boyfriend and girlfriend. How do I make her like ME so it's she and I who are boyfriend and girlfriend? She's already my friend, but just a friend."
- "I like one of the most popular boys in our grade, yet I'm not one of the 'preps.' Do u guys have any idea how I could get his attention?"
- "There are these two boys at school who both have a mega crush on me but I don't like either one. How do I break it to them that I don't like them?"
- Three's a crowd! Many of you wrote in for advice on what to do if you and your friend like the same person.
- "There is this girl. I like her. I think she feels the same way about me. How do I know if she likes me? Once I know that she likes me, how do I tell her that I like her?"
- "I have this guy who acts so weird when I'm around. I don't know whether he likes me or not. I like him but I don't know how to tell him. So what must I do?"
I have a really big crush on a boy. The problem is, I don't have any classes with him. When the first school dance comes up, I want to ask him to dance with me. I'm really scared to, I don't know if he'll even know my name. Please help!
First of all, kudos to you for wanting to ask him to the dance! Most girls would freak out and not ask at all. Here are some tips: (1) The most important thing of all: GET TO KNOW HIM. To make it less awkward, try saying "hi" to him in the hallways a couple of times, then maybe start a conversation with him. (2) When you ask him, be prepared and confident. When I'm saying be confident, I'm not going to say that "guys like confidence" stuff, which they do, but that's not the point. What I'm saying is that you have to be able to accept his answer no matter what. (3) Make sure some friends are going, too. If he says no, who said you can't dance anyway with your closest girl friends! And if he says yes, you'll have your friends there to back you up and help you out! Good luck!
--Angelie, IML Mentor
Go for it! That's my advice. Before the dance, see if you can get into a conversation with him, or if you have mutual friends, be properly introduced. If you're nervous at the dance, get one of your friends to ask for you. Worst case scenerio: he says no. That allows you to move on, and not be stuck in this crush forever. Sure, you'll be a little upset, but hey, you have your friends to get you through. And if he says yes, well, who knows where it could go from there? Trust me, if you don't ask him, you'll be wondering "what if" for a long time. Good luck!
--Nikola, IML Mentor
It's not hard to ask someone you don't know that well to dance with you; all you need is some confidence! I know it seems scary, but you can just try to smile, walk up to him and say, "Hi, I'm Lori. Want to dance?" If you introduce yourself, then you won't give him a chance to tell you he doesn't know your name (and make you feel bad because of it). If he wants to dance, great; if he doesn't, remember that there are plenty of other dances that are going to happen in your life and plenty of other guys to ask. He may just not be ready to think about doing anything with a girl, let alone dancing! Good luck!
--Sarah, IML Mentor
I really like this guy who just happens to be my best friend. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared of what he will think. Also, there's a catch. He likes this girl in his karate class. He comes to me for advice because he wants to tell her. I give him the best advice I have even though it breaks my heart. What should I do?
I've been in your position before, and I'm going to suggest that you do what I did only - ONLY - if dating this boy means that much to you: tell him. The next time he comes to you for advice, say to him something like, "You know, you've been running after this girl but I've been standing right here this whole time. Maybe I'm trying to send you a message here." If you're lucky, like I was, he'll turn out to like you back and you'll get to see what he's like as your boyfriend. However, if that doesn't happen, you'll have to live with the fact that things could get awkward between you two. You'll also have to stay content with keeping him as a friend only, and that might not be possible. So it comes down to this: would you rather have his friendship or be with him romantically? If having him as a friend is more important to you, then hold off on telling him. Good luck!
--Sarah, IML Mentor
Oh, the pains of love when the feelings aren't mutual! Trust me, I -- and probably every other IML'er here -- have gone through something like this. What I would do is continue giving the best advice so he can confess his feelings to this other girl. Although all's fair in love and war (supposedly), you are obviously still hesitant about tipping the delicate balance between friendship and love. You have to ask yourself: Which is more important to me? The two of you being the best of friends forever, or the two of you being a couple for who knows how long? It's tricky to decide whether you're ready for the next step or not. If it's absolutely killing you to know how he feels about you, I think you should wait and see if he ever confesses to his crush. If he never does, you should tell him your feelings about him. If he gets rejected, he might be very sensitive, so I suggest waiting a few days or even weeks if you want to tell him then. It's your call!
--Angelie, IML Mentor
E-mail this page to a friend