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Does liking someone have to mean headache and heartache? Not necessarily! Here's advice on how to handle all the in's and out's of crush-dom.
   
Advice Topics:

Advice Questions about Crushes:

  • GOI have a really big crush on a boy. The problem is, I don't have any classes with him. When the first school dance comes up, I want to ask him to dance with me. I'm really scared to, I don't know if he'll even know my name. Please help!

  • GOI really like this guy who just happens to be my best friend. I want to tell him how I feel, but I'm scared of what he will think. Also, there's a catch. He likes this girl in his karate class. He comes to me for advice because he wants to tell her. I give him the best advice I have even though it breaks my heart. What should I do?

  • GOHey! I've been crushing on dudes since forever. The hard part is, I'm like the nerd at school. Smart with glasses and acne, so I don't appeal to many guys. What do I do? I try to ask guys out, but they all refuse. I go to my friends, and I take their advice, but it never works. I really need your help!

  • GOI'm almost 10; double digits and I'm so excited! The one bad thing about it is that I don't have a crush. I know that sounds kind of bad but it is true, I don't. Eight of my friends have crushes that I know about and when I hear them saying ‘Hey, don't you like him?’ or ‘Who do you like?,’ it makes me feel bad that I don't have a crush. I'm not saying I'm obsessed with love but I just kind of feel like I need to like someone and that I have a crush but I don't know who he is. I really need your help.

  • GOI really like this guy who used to be one of my best friends. Somehow, he found out I liked him. He hasn't talked to me since. What does that mean and how do I start a conversation with him?

  • GOI have a super-big crush on a singer, and he is like one of the cutest things ever. I got to meet him, I got to shake his hand, and he was really nice. Later, I talked with my mom about the crush, and she warned me that it was an infatuation, in other words, it's a fantasy love thing. Now I feel really depressed about it, because I know that he'll never love me as much as I like him. I've talked with my mom about it several times, and she gives me advice, but it makes me feel worse. I don't want to give him up, but I want to stop feeling so upset over this! Do you have any advice?

  • GOMe and this girl have been friends forever (literally) and since about 2nd grade (I'm going into 7th now), I started to like her as more than a friend. We hang out at the pool and we talk a lot in school. It seems like she likes me but I'm not sure. How do I tell her how I feel?

  • GOThere's this boy at school. Everyone says he's gross and weird. A lot of people make fun of him, but my two best friends and me don't and he always hangs out with us. Everyone has been telling me that he likes me. He's never actually denied it, but he also doesn't seem to pay attention to what they say. I think I may like him, but I can't tell for sure if he likes me. Whenever my friends ask me if I like him, I tell them I like him as a friend. I'm really afraid that people will make fun of me if I say I like him too. Not to mention the humiliation if he doesn't like me!

  • GOSome of my classmates tell me that a girl in my class likes me, and will tell me at my basketball game on Sunday. Thing is, this girl is the one I've secretly liked for almost a year now. What should I do?

  • GOI have this crush on a girl, and I'm planning on asking her to hang out at recess (I'm in middle school). I'm not sure if I should. Do you have any tips on how to do it? I'm only in two classes with her, and I need to do it in the morning. Please help me out!

  • GOI just got rejected by someone I really like. That is the 2nd person this week that has rejected me. I feel so ugly. What should I do?

  • GOI am in love with a celeb! I have fantasies about him and I all day and I even get depressed thinking about that most probably a relationship with him won't work out unless I get famous all of a sudden! The thing is that I have really, really deep feelings for him and since I think about him all day in school, I don't pay attention to my teachers and my grades are beginning to fail! How can I get this celeb off my mind so I can get my life back in place?

  • GOI'm home schooled and I go to this church on my street, and in my youth group there is this girl I've been bugging over for 4 months but I am so shy since I don't socialize as much as most kids, I have feelings for her that are so deep I get so depressed. I can't work up enough courage to talk to her. What should I do?

  • GOI'm having a problem with crushes. The thing is, I like to get to know a lot of people, which is fine, but when I form a close friendship with a boy, it always turns into a crush. CURSE YOU, HORMONES! I start thinking about them more than I would normally, and it's so annoying. I wouldn't care so much if it didn't affect EVERY SINGLE FRIENDSHIP I've had with a guy this school year. Is there anything I can do to keep myself from crushing on everyone? I am not looking for any romantic relationships; right now, I'd rather stay away from them. Why can't I control my emotions and keep from drooling over a guy every time we get close?

  • GOI am the quiet guy in the corner, and my friend is one of the popular guys. I have been crushing on this girl since the third grade, but my friend has already told her he likes her. They have broken up now, but I have a hunch that my friend might get back together with her. I have not yet told the girl about my feelings, but one side of me says the window of opportunity is here. What should I do?

  • GOI have recently gotten turned down by a girl that I asked out. And this isn't just a crush. I really love her. And when I think about how she doesn't like me the same way, I get really depressed and I actually cry sometimes. It seems like the only way I can be happy is if I can have this girl. Can you help me?

  • GOI like this girl. She is fun to be around, and she looks real fine. The only problem is that she's black, and I'm white. I know race doesn't matter, but I don't think she will go out with a white boy. We are good friends, and I'm glad that we are, but I kind of want more.

  • GOI have a crush on this girl in school. I think she almost feels the same way about me. The only problem is that her mom doesn't like her to hang around boys. Her mom is like an overprotective parent. I really want she and I to become friends, but her mom doesn't approve. What should I do?

  • GOI know this may sound kinda stupid, but I think I'm in love with my French teacher. I always enjoyed my French lessons, and always got down to doing great work. But ever since the residential trip to France, I've seen my teacher in a new light. Is this normal? How can I deal with it?

  • GOI can't stop thinking about my best guy friend. I think I might be crushing on him, but I'm not sure. If I am, should I tell him? We have been friends since the 5th grade, and now we are going in to 8th. I don't want to lose this friendship. He sometimes shows off in front of me. All of my friends say he likes me and we would be perfect together. At times I sometimes believe them, but other times I don't. Should I ask him out?

  • GOI really like this guy and he found out about it! He told my friend that he knew about it because my face turned red when I talked to him. How am I supposed to act around him? I've kinda been avoiding him.

  • GO"I love this TV show. It is animated, but not a comedy. I love it so much that I have a crush on one of the characters. I have even daydreamed myself into half-believing he's out there somewhere. He is smart, kind, and polite. All of the boys I know are ignorant, rude horrors who curse and like rap music and steal locks off of lockers. I can't love anyone like that. Please help!"

  • GOI really like this kid. I met him over a chat room and he is ten. Is he telling the truth or am I in danger? He had no profile.

  • GOI think that I may have a big crush on this guy that also happens to be my best friend. If I tell him that I like him, he might not like me back or might not want to be my friend anymore, and I'm too shy anyway. What do I do?

  • GO"There is this girl that I like, but she and this guy are boyfriend and girlfriend. How do I make her like ME so it's she and I who are boyfriend and girlfriend? She's already my friend, but just a friend."

  • GO"I like one of the most popular boys in our grade, yet I'm not one of the 'preps.' Do u guys have any idea how I could get his attention?"

  • GO"There are these two boys at school who both have a mega crush on me but I don't like either one. How do I break it to them that I don't like them?"

  • GOThree's a crowd! Many of you wrote in for advice on what to do if you and your friend like the same person.

  • GO"There is this girl. I like her. I think she feels the same way about me. How do I know if she likes me? Once I know that she likes me, how do I tell her that I like her?"

  • GO"I have this guy who acts so weird when I'm around. I don't know whether he likes me or not. I like him but I don't know how to tell him. So what must I do?"


Dear IML,
I think that I may have a big crush on this guy that also happens to be my best friend. If I tell him that I like him, he might not like me back or might not want to be my friend anymore, and I'm too shy anyway. What do I do?
--Sara, 13

The IML Mentors respond:

Dear Sara:
I remember when I had a huge crush on a best friend. I was always shy to approach her; however, I eventually told her and it turned out that she felt the same way towards me! I know it sounds crazy, but our friendship actually improved after that. We began to talk and hang out more often. We still keep in contact to this very day. Good luck!
--Dexter, IML Mentor

Sara,
Crushes on your best friends are always hard to deal with. Trust me, I know! I know youre uncertain now, but later on if you really like this boy, go for it! This is what I did when I was in your situation, and though no relationship developed, we are still best friends (even closer than we were before). There are some risks, sure, but if you like him enough those risks hopefully will not matter. My best friend and I went through a silent phase, but now we talk every day! The best thing to do is follow your heart.
--Danielle, IML Mentor

Dear Sara,
Boy, have I been there! I was totally head over heels for my best friend. Lets call him Fred. Well, Fred and I would flirt, but in reality it was only him being friendly. I finally said, "You know, I don't want to damage our friendship, but I think I'm developing more than friend feelings." Fred and I tried a relationship, and even though it didn't work out, we're even closer now than we were before. If this guy is your real best friend, it won't hurt your friendship. If things don't go your way, keep in mind that most guys make better friends than boyfriends. So tell that boy, and don't be scared!
--Jessica, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
There is this girl that I like, but she and this guy are boyfriend and girlfriend. How do I make her like ME so it's she and I who are boyfriend and girlfriend? She's already my friend, but just a friend.
--David, 11

The IML Mentors respond:

Hey David,
I know what kind of position you're in. Unfortunately, the best solution to that problem is patience. If you really want the girl to genuinely like you, keep being her good friend. Sure, you can hope that she and her boyfriend will break up someday, but don't risk your friendship by trying to make that happen yourself! Stick around, and if her relationship does end, you'll have an advantage because you're already friends. Good luck, man!
--Mikey, IML Mentor

Hey David,
I think we have all been in this situation, where the girl you want is already taken! The way I would deal with it is to act like myself and not change just because of her. If she notices you, it should be for who you really are, not a front or fake act. Give it time and try to see how things work out. Don't try to break up their relationshipwould you really want someone to do that to YOU? I think it's a good idea to treat people as you would want them to treat you. Anyway, good luck.
--Jaron, IML Mentor

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Dear IML,
I like one of the most popular boys in our grade, yet I'm not one of the 'preps.' Do u guys have any idea how I could get his attention?
--Jewels, 13

The IML Mentors respond:

Hey Jewels,
I know what you're feeling right now because this happened to me. I think that in order to get someone's attention, the best way to do it is by just being YOU. This guy should see you for who you are. Consider taking a risk by talking to him as if he weren't one of the 'preps.' Basically treat him how you would want to be treated. Good luck, I know you can get through this!
--Jaron, IML Mentor

Dear Jewels,
I've had a crush on the most popular boy too! And of course, I was just like you, not knowing how to get his attention. I try to smile at him when he walks past and maybe casually say "Hi" or something. You can also try to get to know people who know him, and ask questions like "What's his e-mail address?" I got my crush's e-mail and I sent a message to him, casually saying, "I love to get to know people through e-mail and I just got your address somehow." I was actually trying to make it sound like he's just one of the crowd. Then, you could chat with him through some instant messaging and maybe when he sees you in school, he might smile at you or even invite you to eat lunch with him. That'll be a pretty good start!
--Joyce, IML Mentor

Jewels,
It can be very difficult to get someone's attention, especially if they're popular and a lot of people are trying to get their attention. I think the best way to get someone's attention is to try and talk to him or her alone. When guys or girls are with other people, especially friends, they tend to be less outgoing than when they're alone and have nobody to rely on. If you can talk to that person when they're alone, they'll probably devote all of their attention to you. If he's interested in you, he'll talk to you without you having to take the initiative. Just work slowly. Start by saying, "Hi." Then, later on, you can begin having simple conversations and slowly talk with him more often. The more comfortable you are with him, and he with you, the better. Good luck!
--Mikey, IML Mentor

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