Today, we're wondering: Does anyone ever actually have a good time on Valentine's Day? Maybe if you're in the lucky 1% of people who are happily, securely going out with someone, we can see you enjoying the holiday. But if you're going out with someone and things are a little weird, if you just broke up with someone, if you're not going out with anyone, if you have a crush who doesn't know you exist, if you have a crush who knows you exist but isn't sure how he/she feels about you, if you don't have a crush at all, or if you're a human being with any one of a hundred other situations that we haven't mentioned...Valentine's Day can be, well, not so much fun.

The whole thing is just a lot of pressure and a big marketing ploy to sell cards, candy, and red teddy bears, right?

Okay, we're not really that cynical. Valentine's Day doesn't have to be so all-or-nothing. It's one of those things that really is whatever you make of it, and a "valentine" can be so much more than an object of romance. Do you have parents, siblings, friends, or relatives who help you feel the love in your life? And how about being a valentine to yourself? Can you celebrate the things about you that you're proud of, happy with, and maybe even love? Think about how to make the holiday your own.

Once you've done that, hopefully you won't stress over dances and other V-Day events planned at school or in your community. But if you're still stressing, here are some ideas:

• Go with friends. Even if you have a crush and are tempted to try and go with him or her, take that angst out of the equation. You'll probably have more fun with your buds anyway, and who knows...maybe something natural will happen with that crush once you're there.
  
  
• Have fun with the outfit. Dress in whatever makes you feel good (and comfortable), rather than what you think will impress someone else. You and your friends might come up with some kind of "theme" and coordinate. If you want to make your outfit special but can't afford a whole new getup, buy (or borrow) one cool accessory like earrings or a belt.
  
  
• Dance. That may seem like a big "duh," but sometimes it seems like that's the only thing people aren't doing at these things. Here's an opportunity to just let loose and move. Make a pact with at least one friend that you'll be the first people on the dance floor, and see how quickly others join in. Or make it your mission to get a teacher or other adult chaperone to boogie down. Try to think positively and not so much about what people might think of you; chances are, they're jealous that you're having such a good time.
  
  
• If you can't bring yourself to dance, then do some People Watching. Not so much to gather gossip, but rather, just to learn about behavior. Pretend for a minute that you're an alien scientist come to Earth to study the strange social habits of young humans. Try it; it's pretty fun! 

Share your own advice on our How To Have Fun At A Dance You Said It page, and don't forget to send an IML Valentine E-Card to someone special!

If you watch "iCarly," then you know 17-year-old Reed Alexander as Carly's nemesis, Nevel Papperman. But did you know you can find Reed 24/7 in a virtual online kitchen he designed especially for kids and teens?

Reed's website KewlBites.com is his labor of love, filled with recipes, exercise tips, videos, and other information aimed at helping young people discover that a healthy lifestyle is actually doable...and fun. We think it's a pretty cool thing, so we wanted to find out more from Reed himself.

IML: Where did the idea for KewlBites come from?

Reed: A few years ago, I was overweight and always really tired. I didn't have much confidence or energy. I wanted to make a change. I'm a huge foodie and I love cooking shows, and cooking for others has always been a big part of my life. I couldn't really find anything out there from the kids' POV that would have been right for me. I didn't want to join a diet program or something targeted at adults, I wanted a lifestyle thing. So I set out to make my own way. I got outside and made exercise a priority, and I took those traditional kid food classics I loved but lightened them up, morphed them into something I could feel great about. I also have a family history of heart disease and diabetes so I really needed to open my eyes. I ended up losing 15 pounds and people would say, "You really made a change! What's going on?" So that continued to motivate me, and I came up with the idea for KewlBites. I wanted to spackle up the hole I'd found when I was in this position, and provide a resource and a platform for kids and families who are like me. It's been great to hear reactions from different kinds of people!

IML: It does appeal to everyone! We found stuff on there we could use! You mentioned that you've always been a foodie. How did you first get interested in cooking?

Reed: After many years of great get-togethers with my family, as I got older I wanted to have more of a role in the kitchen. Then I'd watch a food show on TV and pick up these really interesting tips. Now, when I'm on the set of "iCarly," we have a great team with a lot of great taste buds. I bring things to the set that I make and I get a lot of feedback from the cast and crew. It's a great way to connect with people. This past Thanksgiving it was so fun to have people over and make a great spread for them, and see their reactions as they grabbed their forks and dived in.

IML: What do you think are the biggest misconceptions young people have about nutrition and eating well and cooking? Why aren't more tweens excited about that?

Reed: I think there's that old idea of, "Oh, we're eating nutritiously tonight, does that means steamed chicken and broccoli?" Healthy doesn't have to be boring in any way. Sometimes it's difficult because we're all so busy that it's sometimes it seems impossible to get a hold of the information and simple knowledge. Cooking is not at all a chore, and I don't think it's something you have to have a natural knack for in order to make something delicious. It's something a lot of us can tune into and enjoy on different levels. There's this notion that in order to feel great about yourself you have to go on a "diet." But that's not true.

IML: When young people want to start making their lifestyle more healthy, it can seem overwhelming, like they have to change everything at once. What would you say is a great first step for someone?

Reed: The name of KewlBites is about that -- you go one bite at a time with this stuff, integrating easy-to-do activities. Maybe it's 20 minutes where you're outside jogging or walking the dog. Then maybe it's a trip to the supermarket; see what's in the fridge and then say, "Hey Mom, take a look at this, I really want to try this."

IML: You mentioned the importance of exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy?

Reed: I'm a huge tennis fan, I've been playing for a couple of years. But you know what I can always turn to if I wake up early and I look at my day and see that it's going to be pretty crammed? I can always get in a walk. Walking is just one of my favorite things to do. It's really cathartic. You only need sneakers! I also love to go for bike rides with my dad, and I love swimming too, especially when it's hot.

IML: What's next for you, acting-wise?

Reed: I'm happy to say that "iCarly" is coming back for a fifth season, and I can't wait to get back on the set. We'll be doing a brand new set of special episodes. I'm working on a brand new show that I'm writing as well, and I can't wait to share that.

IML: On "iCarly," your character Nevel is a little villainy. That seems so out of character since you're clearly a very a sweet guy. What would be your dream role?

Reed: Yeah, I would definitely like to branch out. I have so much fun with the comedy, I'd love to try drama or something with a totally different feel. What's been interesting in Neville's case is that at first glance he is a little bit of a looney, but some interesting sides of him have unfolded over the past few seasons. There are so many different aspects of him and I love to play that.

IML: Thanks for chatting with us, Reed! Good luck with KewlBites and "iCarly" and everything else!

Reed: Thank you!

Here at IML we have our own section on Food Smarts that's also a must-read for anyone wanting to make a change!

We've been having some issues on the You Said It boards lately, and we think it's time to mention a few things. These are some general notes and guidelines for new users and reminders for the folks who are YSI regulars.

Let's keep things positive. IML encourages free expression, but we also want users to feel safe and welcome.  It's okay to disagree, but please try not to start fights, or to bicker back and forth about opinions. You may not like a particular book, or type of music, but please remember that someone else isn't "stupid" or "wrong" if he or she DOES like them.

Don't take it personally. Just as you shouldn't write stuff that offends others, you should also try not to get offended if others don't think the same way you do. If someone disagrees with you, and says so in a respectful way, try not to get sensitive about it.

Be careful with religious stuff. It's great to be proud of your religion, but IML is for people of ALL beliefs. This isn't the place to convert people to your faith.

Ease up on the scary stuff too: If you're posting poems and stories to the My Writing YSI, keep away from material about murder, blood, guts, and all that. This content may not be a big deal for you 13-year-olds, but IML is for tweens as young as 8.

Don't get upset if not everything you submit gets posted. We try to post almost everything, but yes, there are some things that don't through for one reason or another. If one of your YSI responses doesn't make it, try to think of why. Did you say something mean or inappropriate?  Did you use harsh or overly sarcastic language? Did you single someone out, or try to start/continue a fight? Did you write something totally off-topic? Did you say something that's too mature for our youngest readers?

Remember that we are here to keep an eye on things and help you if you are feeling bullied or treated unfairly in any way. Don't hesitate to email us at itsmylife@pbs.org if you have any concerns, like you feel a post should be removed or edited, or you felt we should not have posted something. We'd rather you alert us to your thoughts rather than jump on another IML'er.

In short...let's play nice, guys! IML wants you all to keep coming back to the YSI boards, so we can work together to keep things fun, safe, and bully-free!  :-)

You've probably seen them by now: the TV commercials for "LEGO Friends," a new line of LEGO sets designed specifically for girls. And you've probably noticed that they don't look like the LEGO sets you've been playing with. For one, there's a lot of pink. The figures are less blocky shaped and more...curvaceous, and they have predetermined names like "Olivia" and "Emma." Also, the environments are places like a beauty shop, a beach cafe, and a design studio.

In other words, they're not all that different from popular girl-focused toys like Barbie and Bratz.

Some people think it's cool, that LEGO is selling something for older kids that's not centered around "Star Wars" or superheroes, and that they're finally paying attention to girls after years of marketing only to boys. A lot of people think it's not. As in, the settings are dumbed-down and stereotypically "feminine", like they're telling girls, "Here's all the pink stuff you're supposed to like and we decided a lot of things for you already. Go play!"

Two young women and members of the girl activist group SPARK, Bailey Shoemaker Richards and Stephanie Cole, feel so strongly that LEGO is sending the wrong message to young people that they started a petition on Change.org, urging the company to abandon the LEGO Friends line and change the way they market to both boys and girls. 

"The LEGO Friends line struck a nerve with me because it came from an unexpected place," Stephanie has said. "This was a brand that always stood for creativity, and now they are reaching out to girls in the most unoriginal way imaginable."

Here at IML, we'd like to know from you: What do you think? What was your reaction when you saw the LEGO Friends toys? Do you feel LEGO is making assumptions about what girls and boys want to play with, and how they want to play with it? Or are you glad they're creating LEGO sets that are more appealing to girls? Tell us on the What's On Your Mind page.

 

If you live in the U.S., right now you're enjoying a day off from school. Woo-hoo! Thank you, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.!

Actually, we have a lot to thank MLK for. Hopefully you're familiar with this man and his legacy, and why we celebrate both. In honor of Dr. King, we hope you'll spend some time today on these IML You Said It pages and share your thoughts:

Volunteering
Everyone's talking about service. Serve! Serve! Serve! But what does it mean? If you're just 8 or 9 years old, can you really do that? Take a look at how other IML'ers have found ways to reach out and give something back to their communities.

What Freedom Really Means
Freedom doesn't always have to be about the big stuff. Freedom comes in small packages, too. Like being able to choose what music to listen to, or what stores to shop in, or what to wear to school. Check out other people's definition of the word.

I've Experienced Racism
Although we've come a long way since Dr. King's day, and we are so much closer to making his "dream" a reality, racism is still very real. Get a first hand look at how tweens deal with this.

We also hope you'll visit PBS KIDS GO!'s African American World for Kids, where you can match other African American heroes with the events that made them famous, send e-cards, and read comments from other young people.

As you probably guessed, here on the IML blog we're always on the lookout for new and interesting music artists that appeal to tweens. You know, performers who might be a little different from what "everyone else" is listening to, or have unusual stories behind their music, or just people who we think might be future stars (so we can say, "Hey, we interviewed them way back when!").

So here's an extra-special one for you: 16-year--old Bera, who's combined his training as a classical musician with his love of jazz and soul, along with his multicultural roots, to create some beautiful tunes from the heart. And if you're wondering what's up with the white hair, that's his natural color (more on that later). His upcoming EP is called "Late Night Cruise Music."

IML: When did you first start playing music? Do you remember what really grabbed you about it, and how it made you feel?
 
Bera: I was born into music and started playing when I was just 1 year old. I couldn't walk or talk, but I turned on the radio and started listening. When I was four years old I started playing violin, and two years later I started on piano and drums, so I was always playing music.  Music has always been a big part of me, like my best friend. I never really decided to pursue music as a career; everything happened naturally.  It's the same today; I just do what I love. I never thought about making a song because it would be good for my career, I just followed my passion and thought that if one day it became a job or something I felt I had to do, then I would stop.
                 
IML: You're a Paris native but you also spend time in the Republic of Georgia. How have the different places you've lived influenced your music?
 
Bera: The places I have lived have definitely influenced my music. First of all, Paris is like the capital of Europe -- with fashion and everything -- and Georgia is much closer to Asia, a very traditional and religious country. So culturally Paris and Georgia are very, very different, and so is their music. Georgian people are very melodic, using a lot of sounds and harmony, so that was my main influence when I first started playing. Then in Paris I had more classical training -- mostly piano and singing -- so that influenced my music and me personally, as well.
 
IML: Last summer you took part in the Camplified tour. What was that like?
 
Bera: It was beautiful, my first tour in the States!  I learned a lot about myself and my music, and I think the kids really liked the songs. It could sometimes be a tough crowd, but the kids had good hearts and didn't seem to look at me as a stranger -- it was almost like I became a member of their family for the day.  It was never a huge crowd, so I could always connect with the audience -- they were very receptive and we had a great time!
 
IML: What are some of the challenges you've had to face in life because as an albino (a person born with no pigmentation, or coloring, in their skin, hair, or eyes), you have different physical traits than most people?
 
Bera: Personally, I always liked the fact that I was different.  It's good marketing! Of course sometimes people say things like, "Oh, man -- you are so white," but then the girls come over and say, "Can I touch your hair?" Really, the girls always liked it, so it never bothered me!

To learn more about Bera, check out his website at www.beraofficial.com.


 

If you have siblings, then you know how fun it can be when you find something you can all do together (instead of, you know, wanting to kill each other). Maybe that's a sport or playing instruments, or putting on plays, or making videos. In the case of 17-year-old AnaLeyna and three of her sisters -- 15-year-old ChaLyn, 14-year-old RaNelle, and 12-year-old MaRiah --that's writing and singing songs about where they've been, what they believe in, and what message they want to share with others.

As The PreZcotts, these four young women have just released their first album, filled with catchy melodies, heartfelt lyrics, and gorgeous harmonies. When we heard it, we were struck by how real the sisters sound. No auto-tune or professionally-written-by-some-adult songs for these ladies! We talked to AnaLeyna about sisters, songwriting, and how music can help others connect through topics like grief and bullying.

IML: Tell us a little about the original songs that are on the album. It seems like each one has a story to it.

AnaLeyna: Oh, yeah...definitely! I think the ones with the biggest story would have to be "Strength" and "Free." "Strength" was one of the first songs I wrote after my father passed. It was for the funeral of a friend of mine, about three months after losing my dad. She was only nineteen, and her parents wanted us to sing a song that would help the people there to heal a little bit. And I didn't have a song like that yet, so I took all the emotions from when I lost my dad and I just poured them into this song. It brought people to tears, but it was like...people were feeling better after they heard it.

IML: Wow. It must have been very therapeutic for you to get all those feelings out into a song.

AnaLeyna: Oh, definitely. And it was even helpful for my sisters. We got together to celebrate his birthday a year after he passed, and we sang "Strength." And it was hard seeing his family there, and we all broke down. Because, when you listen to the words, it's exactly how you would feel if you got put in a situation of loss. We recently sang it at another funeral, and they just absolutely loved it and thanked us. And we said, "We see it as an honor to be able to support you guys, because we know what it feels like to lose somebody you love." So, it's been a really healing and emotionally supporting song.

IML: You mentioned another song called "Free." Tell us about that!

AnaLeyna: It's special to me that "Free" is on the album, because that's the only song that my dad actually heard. That was actually one of the first songs I wrote, when I was ten years old. It was his favorite song, and it was one of the last songs we sang to him before he passed, so it kinda has this little special tie-in. And then of course, you open up the CD and open up the poster, and you see the dedication to him. So even though he couldn't be involved here with us, he's involved. You see him there. I thought that was really special.

IML: You also have an anti-bullying anthem called "Stay True," which is a really awesome song.

AnaLeyna: I actually wrote that with RaNelle and MaRiah. They actually have experiences that are a lot more fresh. Just last year, RaNelle had to deal with a lot of girls bullying her, right before the summer. And our manager was like, "You guys need to write a song."  So they gave me all the words, like "He got a new hairdo, he got a new pair of shoes," stuff like that. I said, "This is great, let's try it." And it turns out to be this really cute song that speaks to kids about being yourself no matter what other people are saying. Because society really does have a huge influence on kids. "Everybody's wearing the new shoes. Oh, no! I have to go get them." It's like...no you don't. You are perfect just the way you are! Don't let people tell you that you have to look different to fit in. Because you don't. It's really cool to see kids singing along with that song, and they realize what they're saying...and they love it. They're like, "Oh, yeah! You're just like me and I'm just like you. I like this."

IML: What is your songwriting process like?

AnaLeyna: They all come differently for me, because it's really natural. I'll just be singing in the car, and I'll realize, "Hey, I like that!" I'll write it down, and then I'll go back to it later. But usually I start with music first. I'll play music on the piano, and if I like the tune I'll start to put words to it. Sometimes the words just come, because I hear them while I'm playing the music. I like writing the chorus first, like the hook, and then I go back to the verse and I think about what the verses should be about to fit the chorus. That's how every song has gone, except "Strength." With that I actually wrote the verses before the chorus.

IML: You wrote "Free" when you were 10, so you've been doing this a long time. Have your songs changed as you've gotten older?

AnaLeyna: Oh, definitely. I wrote "Free" when I was upset at my parents. Just really simple stuff, emotional stuff...I was very dramatic. Now I'm really good at taking any topic or emotion and writing a song about it. But when I was younger, I wasn't really good at that. It was only stuff that I actually had an emotion for that I could write about, and the writing would be very simple, and not very deep.

IML: So from there, how do you collaborate with your sisters?

AnaLeyna: I usually write songs when everybody's gone, because that's when I'm most comfortable with changing things, and then I'll introduce my sisters to it. After I write a song, we all come together and we sing it, first the melody, and then we break off into harmony. If it doesn't work for them, like, "Oh, I can't hit that note," then I have to go back to the song and change stuff. So in every song, they play some part.

IML: One of the things we talk about a lot on It's My Life is sibling rivalry, and fighting with brothers and sisters. What kind of things do you guys fight about, and how do you resolve those fights?

AnaLeyna: The most common stuff that goes on is like, "That's my shirt! You didn't ask to wear my shirt!" Stuff like that. But I'm the oldest, and MaRiah's the youngest...she and I have completely different perspectives on life, so we're gonna react differently, we're gonna argue about stuff. But we know each other too well to not be able to put ourselves in the other person's shoes. And after you do that, you kinda get a better perspective. Even my younger sisters who are eight and six...I'll try to figure out what they're thinking, and then I realize they're feeling left out, so we've been able to fix that and make them feel like part of the crew!

IML: What would you like to see happen in the next year for the PreZcotts?    

AnaLeyna: Mostly for it to just get around! It would be so amazing to hear kids in Paris or London like, love our music, and knowing that people around the world are hearing what our messages are, that would just be a crazy big deal for us. I think the biggest deal is the fact that we have music in us and we want to share it with everybody. We're not trying to be selfish with it. I want to be able to have kids just begging for us to come sing for them...wanting to tell us all their stories so we can write songs about them. I like connecting with people and so do my sisters!

IML: Thanks for chatting with us, and good luck with everything!

AnaLeyna: Thank you!

You can learn more about the PreZcotts and check out their music on their website at www.prezcotts.com. We leave you with their very fun video of the song "Gossip"!

Just two more days until Christmas, which for many of us means a trip -- maybe a short one, maybe a loooong one -- to visit family for the holiday break. The thrill! The excitement! The adventure!

Yeah, not really.

It can be great hanging out with grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, or even parents we don't see as often as we'd like, but it can also bring stress and tension and general awkwardness. You know, the stuff nobody wants to talk about because it's kind of a downer at a time when we're all supposed to be jolly and generous. And traveling itself is often a drag and sometimes, if you're unlucky thanks to weather or other circumstances, downright disastrous.

You can't control what your family members or nature or cars and planes are going to do, but you can take charge of your own destiny here and make this holiday trip as much of a "vacation" as you possibly can. Here's some advice from our Family Vacations section:

•  Tips for surviving the Getting There part of your holiday.
  
  
• "Togetherness" ain't always a good thing, but here are some ideas for Keeping the Peace among family members.
  
  
• Dealing with Relatives can be challenging and yucky; read our suggestions on how to make the most of that challenge (and yuckiness).
  
  
• As always, check out what other IML'ers have written about memorable family vacations, and how they survived to tell the tale!
  
  

If you're one of the fortunate souls who gets to go on a vacation vacation this time of year, you'll find great advice in this section too.

Wherever you spend the next week or two, whether it's on a cruise ship or Aunt Mildred's house or just at home sweet home, we hope you have some quality time with yourself and the people who are most important to you!

One of the things that gives us instant holiday blues: all those piles of post-gift-opening wrapping paper, crumpled and used and pretty darn sad. It's sad because the hoopla is over, but it's extra-sad because that's a lot of wasted paper. Did you know that half of the paper consumed in the U.S. every year is used to wrap and decorate stuff? Even if we're normally good about saving paper, it seems like the holidays are a time when people forget about conserving resources. But presents need to be pretty, right?

Ah, but that's where you can really have some fun! Wrapping doesn't have to mean cutting a huge swath of store-bought printed paper. It can be a chance to get creative and express yourself, and make your gift extra-special because you did something different and original with it. Here are a few ideas:

• First, the "duh." Save wrapping paper to reuse by opening it neatly. If you need a large sheet, try collaging together smaller ones.
  
  
• Paper can be found everywhere. The Sunday comics is a time-tested favorite, as is torn out sheets from magazines. Where else? Think about old calendars, posters, unused wallpaper, and even old road maps. Fancy them up if you need to with a layer of clear or colored cellophane.
  
  
• Tear open brown paper grocery bags and decorate the insides. Buy a roll of "butcher paper" at a craft or art store. If something's small enough, grab a brown paper lunch bag. Decorate with drawings, painting, stickers, rubber stamps, words cut out from magazines, glitter, etc.
  
  
• Put something pretty (a ribbon, some glitter, beads, etc.) between two pieces of wax paper; ironing it will glue them together and make a single, spectacular sheet for wrapping.
  
  
• Consider fabric, too -- fabric scraps make great wrapping material. If you or a family member like to sew, make reusable fabric gift bags that can maybe even become a holiday tradition in your home.
  
  
• We have a ton of those gift bags lying around from gifts we've received in the past. Doesn't everyone? This is a great time to put them to use, even if they're not decorated with a holiday theme. Paint them, collage them, sticker 'em up. Even small paper shopping bags with store logos can be tricked out, and don't forget the good ole brown paper lunch sacks that might already be in your kitchen cabinet.
  
  
• If you just have to buy wrapping paper, look out for the kind that's biodegradable or has recycled content.

And then it's time for the finishing touches! Give your gift some bling such as fabric or reused bows and ribbons, or take a walk in your backyard and scoop up leaves, fir or cedar branches, pine cones, and sticks. (Avoid berries, since they can be poisonous to young kids and pets.)

If you create something truly fantastic, snap a photo and email to us at itsmylife@pbs.org!

Did you know that there are enough greeting cards sold in the United States each year to fill a building as long as a football field and at least 10 stories high! That's a lot of paper, and most of it does NOT go into the recycling bin!

There's no better way to save paper (and money!) during the holidays than to make your own cards for family, friends, teachers, and others in your community you want to show some love this season. Start with some plain solid-colored notecards or cardstock and try these ideas with items you probably already have in your house (and are just waiting to get used!):

• Cut out images from wrapping paper, magazines, personal photos, and even last year's cards (if your family saved them) to make collages.
• Dig into your stock of stickers for funny images and accents.
• Fabric, ribbons, and buttons add a great artsy look.
• Check the kitchen for aluminum foil and cupcake sprinkles.
• If there's already a stock of craft supplies in your home, look for beads, glitter, pipe cleaners, sequins, felt, yarn, etc.
• Make a design on the computer and print it out, then glue onto the card.
• Go old school -- get some markers or crayons and DRAW!

Now you might be thinking, "Well duh, but I never know what to do with this stuff." Using these materials, you could make a:

• Peace sign
• Christmas tree
• Cross
• Planet Earth
• Heart
• Bunch of stars
  
• Picture of yourself
• Home
• Snowflake
• Snowman
• Santa
• Menorah
• The numbers "2011"
• Or anything you think your card recipient might like...

Besides helping the planet, remember this: If you don't have the cash to buy someone a gift, a homemade card created from the heart is a great substitute (and often even better!).

If you make a holiday card you're super proud of, scan it and email it to us so we can post it on this blog!