Just got the latest FETCH 3000 catalog. It lists all the attachments you can get for the FETCH 3000. Here are some I'd LOVE for my next birthday. (Hint, hint.)

• Tummy Rub Master 3000
  Gives a perfect tummy rub at the touch of a button. Heaven!
• Crossword Puzzle Helper
  Need a new one. Realized this when I typed in "Three-letter word for canine" and it suggested "platypus." Dogs are NOT platypusses! (Wait. Is that right? Platypi? Platypis?)
• Ketchup De-Grosser
  Wipes off that weird sticky ketchup leftover-on-the-cap stuff. Eeech...
• Chinese Takeout Container Leftover Extractor
  I always get food all over my face when I try to lick that laaaaaaaast bit from the bottom of the container. NOT a good look, especially if I'm trying to impress someone like, say (*ahem*) Charlene. So, if you're gonna get me only ONE attachment, this is it! (And if you're reading this, Charlene, I'm very sorry about your scarf. But in my defense, it DID look just like a napkin. Just send me the bill.)

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