BIG NEWS! IT'S AUDITION TIME AGAIN FOR FETCH!
And this season promises to be better than ever! Twenty episodes of nothing but sky-diving and roller skates! Have you ever wanted to jump out of an airplane with your roller derby team? Well here's your chance! So—oh hold on, I'm getting a call from Henry, the boss.
[Five Minutes Later]
Okay, forget what I said—Henry's allergic to airplanes. I'll have to think of something else.
So who can audition for FETCH?
1) you can't be older than 13. Or younger than 9.
Oh, and also—
2) you have to be a human. Dung beetles, elephants — I'm glad you like FETCH, but you'll just have to enjoy it from your home, barn, etc. I can't tell you how many elephants came to auditions last year disguised in trench coats and Groucho glasses. It wasted valuable audition time.
3) you have to be able to live in the Boston area over the summer. New York Yankees fans—that means you might want to reconsider. Or at least bring a lot of red socks.
The next auditions will be held in Boston on January 9th and 10th, 2010.
To audition, you have to schedule an appointment by clicking on the "FETCH" icon at www.mauratighe.com. There you'll find all the information you need. In other words, whatever you do, don't call WGBH. Still trying to cut costs after last year's armadillo fiasco, they're training hippopotamuses to answer the phone. And it's going very slowly.